Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and has some grammatical errors. Try to make your sentences clearer and more natural. Also, avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I like singing, but I don't consider myself a good singer because I lack strong vocals. I prefer singing alone rather than performing for others because it helps me relax and relieve stress.

提案: Your answer has some unclear phrases and grammatical mistakes. Try to organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use linking words to make your answer coherent and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I learned how to sing when I was a child. At school, there was a music class that I often joined, but I never had the opportunity to become a good singer.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and has grammatical errors. Try to express your ideas clearly and avoid repeating the same phrases. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: I want to sing for myself because it brings me pleasure and helps me relax. Singing helps me reduce stress, so I prefer to enjoy it privately rather than performing for others.

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and unclear. Try to use more precise vocabulary and organize your ideas with linking words. Provide specific reasons or examples to support your opinion.

例: Of course, singing can bring happiness because it helps people relieve stress and feel relaxed. Additionally, singing can boost creativity, which contributes to overall happiness.

× Yes I do like singing but I'm not a singer because I don't fire feel myself so good at singing because I don't have good vocal.

✓ Yes, I do like singing but I'm not a singer because I don't feel confident about my singing as I don't have a good voice.

The phrase 'I don't fire feel myself so good' is incorrect pronoun and verb usage. 'Feel myself so good' should be 'feel confident' or 'feel good about myself'. Also, 'good vocal' is incorrect; it should be 'a good voice'. The sentence needs proper pronoun and verb usage to convey the intended meaning clearly.

× Also I prefer listening and singing alone rather than sewing my skill to others because it is when I sing alone I it helps to release my stress.

✓ Also, I prefer listening and singing alone rather than showing my skill to others because when I sing alone, it helps to release my stress.

The word 'sewing' is a wrong conjunction or word choice here; it should be 'showing'. Also, the sentence structure is awkward with 'I it helps'; it should be 'it helps'. Proper conjunction and sentence structure improve clarity.

× In my school time there is there was always can Class A which teaches music to the student so I usually join them but I never get I never saw get a chance to become a good singer.

✓ During my school time, there was always a Class A which taught music to the students, so I usually joined them but I never got a chance to become a good singer.

The phrase 'there is there was always can Class A' is incorrect. The correct form is 'there was always a Class A'. Also, 'teaches' should be past tense 'taught' to match the past time frame. 'Student' should be plural 'students'. 'Join' should be past tense 'joined'. 'Never get I never saw get' is incorrect; it should be 'never got'. These corrections fix the 'there be' issue and tense consistency.

× I want to sing for myself because I find myself so pleasure and relax while listening to music because it helps to release my stress level in all these things.

✓ I want to sing for myself because I find it pleasurable and relaxing while listening to music as it helps to release my stress level and other things.

The phrase 'I find myself so pleasure and relax' is incorrect pronoun and adjective/adverb usage. It should be 'I find it pleasurable and relaxing'. 'In all these things' is vague and awkward; 'and other things' or 'and so on' is better. Proper pronoun and adjective usage improve clarity.

× So I want to I want to sing for myself rather than us showing my singing skill to other because that.

✓ So I want to sing for myself rather than showing my singing skills to others because of that.

The phrase 'us showing' is incorrect pronoun usage; it should be 'showing'. 'Singing skill' should be plural 'singing skills'. 'Other' should be plural 'others'. The sentence is incomplete and awkward; adding 'because of that' clarifies the reason.

× Of course, singing can bring happiness to people because it helps to really stress an it helps to make them so relax a so that they it helps.

✓ Of course, singing can bring happiness to people because it helps to relieve stress and makes them feel relaxed so that it helps.

The phrase 'helps to really stress an' is incorrect; it should be 'helps to relieve stress'. 'Make them so relax' should be 'makes them feel relaxed'. 'A so that they it helps' is awkward and unclear; rephrased for clarity. Correct pronoun and verb usage improve meaning.

× It also helps in their creativity and all these things.

✓ It also helps with their creativity and other things.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect here; 'helps with' is the correct collocation. 'All these things' is vague; 'other things' is clearer.

× So it really helped to bring happiness to the people because really, really sing.

✓ So it really helps to bring happiness to people because of singing.

'Helped' is past tense but context suggests present tense 'helps'. 'The people' can be simplified to 'people'. 'Because really, really sing' is unclear; rephrased to 'because of singing' for clarity and correct pronoun usage.