Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence stating your current habit, then add one or two supporting details. Reduce repetition and avoid conflicting time references (you said weekdays twice). Use a linking word when adding examples.

例: Now I usually eat snacks most days. For example, I often have chips after work, and sometimes I enjoy chocolate cookies or Swedish candy at the weekend.

提案: Organize your response: give a clear opinion, then give reasons and a brief example. Avoid double negatives and hesitations. Use linking words (however, although, because) to connect ideas and be precise about frequency.

例: I don't think snacking is healthy for me because I tend to overeat. Therefore, I'm trying to limit snacks to once a week. However, in moderation snacks can be fine if they are small and balanced.

提案: Start with a direct answer, then give specific supporting details briefly. Avoid informal or potentially sensitive wording like “chubby” without softening; use neutral language. Use a linking word to show cause and effect.

例: Yes, I ate snacks a lot when I was young. For instance, my mother often gave me larger portions than recommended, so I tended to gain weight as a result.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence naming your favourite types, then give one or two specific examples. Remove fillers (uh) and avoid repeating words. Use a linking word to contrast salty and sweet preferences.

例: I enjoy both salty and sweet snacks. For example, I often choose salted chips or popcorn for savoury cravings, but I also like Swedish licorice and raspberry-flavoured candy when I want something sweet.

× Before I met my boyfriend I usually only ate snacks on the weekdays, but now I eat on the weekdays too and I like to eat chips, sometimes chocolate cookies or Swedish candy.

✓ Before I met my boyfriend, I usually only ate snacks on weekdays, but now I eat them on weekdays too, and I like to eat chips, sometimes chocolate cookies, or Swedish candy.

The sentence mixes past and present correctly but needs punctuation and pronoun consistency. 'On the weekdays' is better as 'on weekdays' (natural usage). Add a comma after the introductory clause. Use the pronoun 'them' to refer to 'snacks' to avoid repetition. Suggestion: add comma after 'boyfriend', use 'weekdays' and replace repeated noun with 'them'.

× To be honest, no, I don't think it's healthy for me to eat snacks.

✓ To be honest, no, I don't think eating snacks is healthy for me.

This is a word-order and style improvement in present tense: 'I don't think it's healthy for me to eat snacks' is grammatical but slightly awkward. Use the gerund 'eating snacks' as the subject to make the sentence more natural. Suggestion: use gerund phrase 'eating snacks' as subject for clarity.

× I should eat snacks less than I do.

✓ I should eat snacks less than I do now.

The sentence is grammatical but slightly vague. Adding 'now' clarifies the comparison to current habit; tense remains present modal 'should' + base verb, appropriate here. Suggestion: add time reference for clarity.

× Maybe hold it to one day per week instead of everyday snacks in a bit.

✓ Maybe limit them to one day per week instead of having snacks every day.

Incorrect verb form and phrasing: 'hold it to' is not idiomatic here. Use 'limit them to' and 'every day' (two words) when used as an adverbial phrase. Also use 'them' to refer to 'snacks'. Suggestion: use 'limit' plus object, and 'every day' as two words.

× But if you eat it in the right amount, I don't think that it's not healthy for you.

✓ But if you eat them in the right amount, I don't think they are unhealthy for you.

Pronoun agreement and double negative issue: 'it' should be 'them' for plural 'snacks'. The original contains a confusing double negative 'I don't think that it's not healthy' which reverses meaning. Use a positive statement: 'I don't think they are unhealthy' or 'I think they are not unhealthy.' Also 'in the right amount' is better as 'in the right amounts' or 'in the right amount' depending on context; 'in the right amount' is acceptable but 'in the right amount' used here kept singular object replaced by 'them'. Suggestion: use 'them' and avoid double negatives.

× I was a very chubby kid when I was young, so yeah, I ate snacks a lot.

✓ I was a very chubby kid when I was young, so yeah, I ate snacks a lot.

This sentence is grammatically correct. Tense and structure are appropriate; no change needed other than stylistic choices. Suggestion: none.

× Not only snacks, I love to eat food.

✓ Not only did I eat snacks, I also loved to eat a lot of food.

Sentence fragment and tense mismatch: 'Not only snacks, I love to eat food' lacks proper verb structure and mixes past and present. Because the context is past, use past tense: 'Not only did I eat snacks, I also loved to eat a lot of food.' This fixes word order for 'not only' inversion and clarifies meaning. Suggestion: use inversion after 'not only' and keep past tense.

× My mom always fed me much more food than the recommended amount each day, and that's why I was overweight.

✓ My mom always fed me much more food than the recommended amount each day, and that's why I was overweight.

The sentence is grammatically correct. Prepositions and comparatives are used appropriately. 'Than the recommended amount' is fine. No change required. Suggestion: none.

× I like to eat salty snacks like salted chips or popcorns, but I also like sweet candy like Swedish candy like uh, licorice and uh, Raspberry flavoured candy.

✓ I like to eat salty snacks like salted chips or popcorn, but I also like sweet candies, such as Swedish licorice and raspberry-flavoured candy.

Pluralization and article issues: 'popcorn' is uncountable, so not 'popcorns'. 'Sweet candy' is better as 'sweet candies' or 'sweet candy' with clearer phrasing. Avoid repeating 'like'. Capitalization: 'raspberry' should be lowercase. Use hyphen in 'raspberry-flavoured'. Also 'Swedish candy like licorice' is better phrased as 'Swedish licorice'. Suggestion: use uncountable nouns correctly, pluralize where needed, avoid repetition, and fix capitalization and hyphenation.