History— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Cải thiện tính tự nhiên và súc tích: tránh tiếng ậm ừ (uh, umm) và lặp từ, mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó nêu thêm 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể. Chú ý ngữ pháp (this subjects → this subject). Sử dụng liên từ đơn giản để mạch lạc.

Ejemplo: Yes, I have. I study history regularly at school because I am a high school student. In addition to lessons, I often read short articles about important events to deepen my understanding.

Sugerencia: Nâng cao cấu trúc câu và dùng từ kết nối: tránh thì sai (I learned → I learn), giảm tiếng ậm ừ và dùng liên từ để liên kết ý (for example, also, and). Thêm chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ loại video, nguồn) để tăng tính minh họa.

Ejemplo: I learn history in several ways. For example, I pay close attention to my teacher's lectures at school, and at home I watch documentary clips and educational channels on YouTube to get more context and visuals.

Sugerencia: Tránh lặp từ và nói chung chung; nêu các lợi ích cụ thể và giải thích ngắn gọn. Sắp xếp câu: chủ đề → lý do cụ thể → ví dụ. Sử dụng từ vựng phù hợp (sacrifice → sacrifices; avoid 'old people'—use 'people in the past' or 'ancestors').

Ejemplo: Learning history is useful because it helps us understand past events and appreciate the sacrifices of earlier generations. For instance, studying wars and independence movements shows how people fought for freedom and shaped our society.

Sugerencia: Giảm lặp từ và nói lan man; mở đầu bằng câu khẳng định ngắn gọn, sau đó nêu 2 lý do rõ ràng dùng liên từ (because, and, so). Tránh từ thừa như 'nowadays' lặp lại; bổ sung ví dụ cụ thể để thuyết phục.

Ejemplo: Yes, I believe history is important because it helps us avoid repeating past mistakes and develops critical thinking about social issues. For example, learning about past economic crises can guide better decisions in policymaking today.

× And I think this subjects is really crucial and uh, uh, beneficial for every student.

✓ And I think this subject is really crucial and beneficial for every student.

The noun 'subjects' is incorrectly plural while the verb 'is' is singular; they must agree. Use singular 'subject' to match 'is'. Suggestion: decide singular or plural and make noun and verb agree (e.g., 'this subject is' or 'these subjects are').

× Of course, yes, from the past until now, uh, I am in the high school already and I still have to uh, study uh, umm, history every week in my school year.

✓ Of course. From the past until now, I have been in high school and I still have to study history every week during the school year.

The original mixes present simple and awkward phrasing. Use present perfect progressive or present perfect 'have been' to show continuation from past to now. Also use 'in high school' (no article 'the') and 'during the school year' for correct collocation. Suggestion: use 'I have been in high school' and 'study history every week during the school year'.

× I learned this subject from many ways.

✓ I learned this subject in many ways.

The preposition 'in' is required with 'many ways' to indicate methods; this is a preposition issue combined with verb collocation. Also 'learned' is acceptable past, but better: 'I learn this subject in many ways' if describing habitual learning. Suggestion: use 'in many ways' or change tense for habitual actions.

× I would like to just concentrate entirely on the lecture of my teacher, uh, at my classes and uh, at home I, uh, spend time watching many historical videos on the social media to learn more about it.

✓ I usually concentrate entirely on my teacher's lectures in class, and at home I spend time watching many historical videos on social media to learn more.

Errors: 'concentrate on the lecture of my teacher' is awkward — use 'concentrate on my teacher's lectures'; 'at my classes' should be 'in class' or 'in my classes'; 'the social media' is incorrect — use 'social media' without 'the'. Also 'would like to just' is wrong for habitual action; use 'usually' or simple present. Suggestion: use natural collocations: 'concentrate on my teacher's lectures', 'in class', 'watch videos on social media'.

× I think this subject is really beneficial for people and the major benefits from learning, learning history.

✓ I think this subject is really beneficial for people, and the major benefit from learning history is...

Mismatch: 'benefits' plural then 'major benefits' and sentence fragment. Use singular 'benefit' with a following clause, or keep plural and complete the list. Also unnecessary repetition 'learning, learning history'. Suggestion: rewrite to 'the major benefit from learning history is that people can...'.

× People can know more about the past and the old people who sacrificed their own life to save their own country.

✓ People can learn more about the past and about the people who sacrificed their lives to save their country.

Use 'learn' rather than 'know' for acquiring knowledge; 'old people' incorrectly implies age — use 'people' or 'ancestors'; 'life' should be plural 'lives' when referring to multiple people; 'their own country' is redundant — 'their country' is sufficient. Suggestion: use 'learn about the people who sacrificed their lives'.

× I think learning history is crucial for every student nowadays to just avoid repeating mistakes and also develop critical thinking about work or social movements.

✓ I think learning history is crucial for every student nowadays to avoid repeating mistakes and to develop critical thinking about work and social movements.

Remove filler 'just' and use parallel infinitive structure 'to avoid' and 'to develop'. Use 'and' instead of 'or' to include both examples. Suggestion: maintain parallel structure and avoid unnecessary fillers for clarity.

× And it is really, really helpful for people nowadays.

✓ It is really helpful for people nowadays.

Sentence is grammatically correct but stylistically redundant ('really, really'). Remove repetition for formality. Suggestion: avoid unnecessary repetition; one 'really' is sufficient.