History— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then briefly list specifics with correct phrasing and avoid repetition. Use linking words to make it coherent.

Ejemplo: Yes. In secondary school I studied both Chinese history and world history. For example, world history covered American history and ancient history, so the curriculum covered a wide range of periods and regions.

Sugerencia: Use correct collocations and cleaner sentence structure. Begin with a clear statement of methods, then add a brief reason or example using linking words like "for example" or "because".

Ejemplo: I learn history mainly by reading illustrated history books and watching documentary videos. For example, I often watch short documentaries online because they explain events visually and make them easier to remember.

Sugerencia: Avoid fillers and metaphors that are unclear. Start with a clear topic sentence stating benefits, then give two specific reasons with linking words (e.g., "for example", "because"). Use correct grammar and subject-verb agreement.

Ejemplo: Learning history helps us avoid repeating past mistakes and understand why societies changed. For example, by studying past economic crises we can recognise risky policies, and by learning about social movements we understand the causes of change.

Sugerencia: Give a clear opinion followed by two concise, specific reasons. Use linking words like "because" or "therefore" and vary vocabulary to sound natural.

Ejemplo: Yes, I think history is important because it teaches lessons from past successes and failures and helps us make better decisions today. Therefore, studying history can improve civic awareness and prevent repeated mistakes.

× Yes. And my secondary school in the Kirk, in the curriculum, there's Chinese history and world history, which contains a lot, a wide range of history that includes maybe American history and age of history, Yes.

✓ Yes. In my secondary school in Kirk, the curriculum included Chinese history and world history, which covered a wide range of topics such as American history and ancient history.

The original sentence has multiple sentence structure issues, incorrect tense and awkward phrases. The verb tense should be past ('included') to match 'my secondary school' context. 'There's' is informal and ungrammatical here; replace with 'the curriculum included.' 'Which contains a lot, a wide range of history' is redundant and awkward; use 'which covered a wide range of topics.' 'Age of history' is incorrect; likely meant 'ancient history.' Rearranged for clarity and conciseness. Suggested improvement: break long ideas into clauses, keep tense consistent, and choose precise nouns (ancient history).

× I like to watch comic books that's related to history and there are some videos that's tells us about what happened in those past years.

✓ I like to read comic books that are related to history, and there are some videos that tell us about what happened in past years.

Errors include misuse of 'watch' with 'comic books' (comics are read), incorrect relative clause agreement ('that's' singular vs plural 'books' and 'videos'), and wrong verb form 'tells' with plural 'videos'. Use 'that are' with 'comic books' and 'that tell' with 'videos'. Also remove unnecessary 'those'. Suggested improvement: match subject number with verb and use appropriate verbs: 'read comics', 'videos that tell'.

× So I learned history by reading comic books and watching videos.

✓ So I learn about history by reading comic books and watching videos.

The student mixed past and present. The preceding sentence expresses a preference ('I like'), so use present simple 'I learn' to show habitual action. 'Learned' implies a completed past action. Use 'learn about history' for natural phrasing. Suggested improvement: keep tense consistent when describing habitual methods: use present simple.'

× I would say learning history is like, umm, watching a mirror that's have that tells you what you have to do and what you should not do.

✓ I would say learning history is like looking in a mirror that tells you what you should do and what you should not do.

'Watching a mirror' is unnatural; use 'looking in a mirror.' 'That's have that tells' is ungrammatical: use a single relative clause 'that tells' with singular 'mirror.' Also simplify 'what you have to do' to 'what you should do' for better modal consistency. Remove duplicated words. Suggested improvement: use natural collocations ('look in a mirror') and ensure one relative clause with correct verb agreement.'

× Like those history figures, they make mistakes that affects everything that happens after.

✓ For example, historical figures made mistakes that affected everything that happened afterwards.

'Those history figures' should be 'historical figures.' Tense should be past ('made', 'affected', 'happened') because referring to past events. 'Affects' disagrees with past context. Use 'afterwards' or 'after' for clarity. Also avoid starting clause with 'Like' in formal speech; use 'For example.' Suggested improvement: use correct adjective form 'historical' and keep past tense when discussing past events.'

× So the benefits of learning history is to learn what to do.

✓ So the benefit of learning history is learning what to do.

Subject-verb agreement and noun number: 'benefits ... is' is incorrect. Either 'The benefits are...' or 'The benefit is...'. Here singular 'benefit' fits better with singular complement. Use gerund 'learning' for parallel structure: 'is learning what to do.' Suggested improvement: ensure subject and verb agree in number and use parallel forms.'

× Of course, learning history can let you know what you should do and what you should not do, what is correct, what is incorrect.

✓ Of course, learning history can help you know what you should do and what you should not do, and what is correct and what is incorrect.

'Can let you know' is awkward; 'can help you know' or 'can show you' is more natural. Add conjunction 'and' to join the final pair for parallelism. Maintain present modal 'can' is acceptable; adjust phrasing for naturalness. Suggested improvement: prefer natural collocations like 'help you know' and ensure parallel structure when listing contrasts.'