Dreams— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: 문장이 자연스럽고 의미 전달이 잘 되지만 몇 가지 오류와 어색한 표현을 고치면 더 명확해집니다. 예: 'ride my dreams down'는 틀린 표현이므로 'write my dreams down'로 수정하세요. 또한 보충 문장을 연결할 때 연결어를 사용해 흐름을 더 매끄럽게 만드세요. 예: 'because'나 'so'를 사용해 이유를 명확히 하고, 세부 묘사(예: 어떤 상세를 적는지)를 한두 단어로 추가하면 점수가 올라갑니다.

Ejemplo: Yes, I can. I usually write my dreams down in a small notebook because it helps me remember vivid details and reflect on them later.

Sugerencia: 대체로 이해할 수 있으나 반복과 어색한 문장 구조가 있습니다. 같은 표현('share with my friends')을 여러 번 반복하지 말고, 연결어('especially' 뒤에 구체적 이유를 덧붙임)와 구체적 예시(한두 가지 자세한 상황)를 넣어 문장이 풍부해지도록 하세요. 또한 발화 길이를 2~4문장으로 유지하세요.

Ejemplo: Yes, sometimes I do. I usually tell my friends about memorable dreams, especially scary or exciting ones, because we enjoy discussing what they might mean.

Sugerencia: 의견은 분명하지만 문법 오류와 반복이 점수를 낮춥니다. 단수·복수 일치('a dream' 또는 'dreams')를 고치고, 반복되는 단어('worry, worry')를 제거하세요. 또한 이유를 하나 덧붙여 논리를 강화하세요(예: 'they reflect daily concerns' 등). 연결어('because' 등)를 사용하면 더 논리적으로 들립니다.

Ejemplo: I don't think so. I believe dreams are just dreams and we shouldn't overthink them because they often just reflect our daily thoughts or stress.

Sugerencia: 의도는 좋지만 표현과 문법을 다듬어야 합니다. 'become a bakery shop'는 잘못된 표현으로 'open a bakery' 또는 'run a bakery'로 바꾸세요. 또한 문장을 연결할 때 쉼표 대신 연결어를 사용하고, 'baking major'보다 'major in baking'이나 'baking as my major'가 자연스럽습니다. 목표 달성 계획(예: 인턴십 경험)을 한 문장으로 덧붙이면 더 설득력 있습니다.

Ejemplo: Yes, I do. I want to make my dreams come true; I hope to open a bakery in the future, so I'm planning to major in baking at university and gain practical experience through internships.

× I really like to ride my dreams down in a small notebook.

✓ I really like to write my dreams down in a small notebook.

The verb 'ride' is incorrect in this context; the correct verb is 'write' followed by the noun phrase 'my dreams down'. Use 'write down' to mean record. Also keep simple present tense for habitual action: 'I really like to write my dreams down in a small notebook.' Suggestions: practice common collocations such as 'write down', 'jot down'.

× It helps me to remember the vivid details and live in and reflect on them later.

✓ It helps me remember the vivid details and live in them and reflect on them later.

The verb pattern after 'helps' can be either infinitive or base verb; 'helps me to remember' or 'helps me remember' are both acceptable. The phrase 'live in' needs an object 'them' to refer to 'dreams'. Use parallel structure: 'live in them and reflect on them later.' Suggestions: keep verbs parallel and include necessary objects for prepositional phrases.

× Especially the memorable dreams I share with my friends.

✓ Especially memorable dreams I share with my friends.

This fragment contains an article usage and word order issue. 'The memorable dreams' is acceptable, but 'Especially the memorable dreams I share with my friends.' is a fragment lacking a main verb; better to integrate as 'Especially memorable dreams I share with my friends.' or 'I especially share memorable dreams with my friends.' Suggestions: ensure sentences have a subject and verb and avoid sentence fragments.

× For example, scary dreams or exciting dreams I really like to share with my friends.

✓ For example, I really like to share scary or exciting dreams with my friends.

Word order is awkward. Place the subject 'I' and verb 'really like to share' before the objects. Also combine adjectives: 'scary or exciting dreams' is more natural. Suggestions: use natural English word order: Subject + Verb + Object.

× I think dream is just dream and we don't need to overthink about our dream and worry, worry to that.

✓ I think a dream is just a dream and we don't need to overthink our dreams or worry about them.

Missing articles: use 'a dream' and 'a dream' when speaking generally. Also pluralize 'dream' when speaking about dreams in general: 'our dreams'. 'Overthink about' is incorrect; use 'overthink' (no 'about') or 'worry about'. Eliminate repetition 'worry, worry to that' and use 'worry about them.' Suggestions: use articles with singular countable nouns and use correct verb-preposition collocations ('worry about').

× I want to make my dreams come true and my dream is to become a bakery shop in future so I hope to enter baking major in the university.

✓ I want to make my dreams come true, and my dream is to open a bakery in the future, so I hope to major in baking at university.

Several article and word-choice errors: 'become a bakery shop' is incorrect; a person 'open a bakery'. Use 'in the future' for time. 'Enter baking major' is ungrammatical; use 'major in baking' or 'study baking' and 'at university' (no 'the' unless a specific university is meant). Add commas for clarity and keep parallel structure. Suggestions: learn common verbs with business nouns ('open a bakery') and the correct phrase for university studies ('major in X' or 'study X at university').