Music— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Fix collocations and redundancy (e.g., “has a positive effect” not “effects positive effects”). Avoid repetitions like “happy music and upbeat music.”

Ejemplo: I prefer happy, upbeat music because it lifts my mood and boosts my energy. For example, when I work out I play energetic pop songs to stay motivated and keep my pace up.

Sugerencia: Give a direct topic sentence and one concise supporting reason with a clear linking word. Avoid repeating the same idea and refine phrasing (e.g., “it helps me stay focused” instead of “keep my concentration higher”).

Ejemplo: Yes. Listening to upbeat music during exercise makes me feel excited and upbeat, so I can focus better on my routine and maintain my energy throughout the workout.

Sugerencia: Good clear structure and specific detail. Improve natural phrasing and verb forms, and keep it concise. Use a linking phrase to add a brief additional detail.

Ejemplo: Yes. I have taken violin lessons since I was three years old, and I often play classical pieces at concerts and occasionally in competitions.

Sugerencia: Be clearer and avoid awkward expressions. Begin with a direct answer, then explain with one specific example. Replace vague terms like “BSGM music” with clearer labels (e.g., instrumental or background music). Fix grammar (e.g., “lyrics” vs “with lyrics”, “what I'm doing” → “what I am doing”).

Ejemplo: Yes. I avoid music with vocals because lyrics distract me; instead I listen to instrumental or ambient background music so I can concentrate while studying or working.

× I prefer listening to happy music because happy music and upbeat music effects positive effects to my mind and I feel that I can achieve anything.

✓ I prefer listening to happy, upbeat music because it has a positive effect on my mind and makes me feel that I can achieve anything.

Errors: incorrect verb form 'effects' used as a verb and duplicate noun 'effects', incorrect preposition 'to my mind', and awkward wording. Explanation: 'effect' as a noun takes the article 'a' and the preposition 'on' ('a positive effect on my mind'). Using 'effects' as a verb is incorrect here; use 'has a positive effect' or 'affects me positively'. Also combine 'happy' and 'upbeat' with a comma to avoid repetition. Suggestion: say 'it has a positive effect on my mind' or 'it affects my mood positively'.

× For example, when I workout, I listen to happy music so that I have I'll be motivated.

✓ For example, when I work out, I listen to happy music so that I will be motivated.

Errors: incorrect contraction 'I have I'll' and wrong verb form 'workout' used as a verb. Explanation: 'work out' is phrasal verb (two words) when used as a verb. The intended future/intent meaning requires 'will be motivated' or simply 'feel motivated'. Remove the incorrect 'I have I'll'. Suggestion: use 'I work out' and 'I will be motivated' or 'I feel motivated'.

× Yes, of course. For example, when I workout, when I listen to happy music and workout, I feel so excited and I feel happy, cheerful, so that I can keep my concentration higher.

✓ Yes, of course. For example, when I work out and listen to happy music, I feel excited and cheerful, and I can maintain my concentration.

Errors: repetitive phrases ('when I workout, when I listen ... and workout') and awkward comparative 'keep my concentration higher'. Explanation: avoid repetition by combining clauses: 'when I work out and listen...'. Use 'maintain my concentration' instead of 'keep my concentration higher'. Also 'work out' should be two words. Suggestion: simplify the sentence and use 'feel excited and cheerful' and 'maintain'.

× Yes, Since I was three years old, I've been taking violin lessons.

✓ Yes. Since I was three years old, I've taken violin lessons.

Errors: capitalization and slightly awkward present perfect continuous use with 'since'. Explanation: Both 'I've been taking' and 'I've taken' can be correct; however, for lasting experience up to now, 'I've taken violin lessons since I was three' or 'I've been taking violin lessons since I was three' are acceptable. Capitalize 'since' correctly after a period and add a period after 'Yes'. Suggestion: choose one form consistently: 'I've been taking violin lessons since I was three' or 'I've taken violin lessons since I was three.'

× I play classical music by violin at concerts and sometimes competitions.

✓ I play classical music on the violin at concerts and sometimes in competitions.

Errors: incorrect preposition 'by violin' and missing preposition before 'competitions'. Explanation: the correct instrument preposition is 'on the violin'. Use 'in competitions' for participating in competitions. Suggestion: say 'play classical music on the violin at concerts and in competitions.'

× Yes, but if I listen to music that has the lyrics, I cannot concentrate on the things what I'm doing together.

✓ Yes, but if I listen to music with lyrics, I cannot concentrate on the things I am doing.

Errors: awkward phrase 'music that has the lyrics' and wrong relative pronoun 'what' and redundant 'together'. Explanation: use 'music with lyrics' and the relative clause should use 'that' or omit it: 'the things I am doing'. Remove 'together' which is unnecessary. Suggestion: 'If I listen to music with lyrics, I cannot concentrate on what I am doing.'

× So when I do something else, I listen to kind of BSGM music so that I can concentrate on other things.

✓ So when I do other things, I listen to background instrumental music so that I can concentrate on them.

Errors: informal phrase 'kind of BSGM music' is unclear and 'do something else' is awkward. Explanation: likely intended 'background instrumental' or 'background music' without lyrics. Use 'concentrate on them' to refer back to 'other things'. Suggestion: replace unclear abbreviation with 'background instrumental music' or 'background music without lyrics'.