Music— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and correct basic grammar (e.g., “more happier” → “happier”).

Ejemplo: I prefer happy music. For example, upbeat songs lift my mood and help me feel more energetic, and when I’m sad I use cheerful music to comfort myself and improve my mood.

Sugerencia: Give a direct yes/no response with a short explanation and clear examples. Use linking words (because, for example) and correct phrases (e.g., “when I’m happy,” “for happy occasions”). Avoid unclear metaphors like “music is kind of window and summit.”

Ejemplo: Yes, it does. Because upbeat music often makes me feel more energetic and expressive; for example, when I’m getting ready for a celebration I play lively songs to match my mood and feel more excited.

Sugerencia: Provide a clear topic sentence and two specific details: frequency, what you learned or liked, and one brief opinion. Improve grammar (e.g., “once a week,” “musical instruments,” “electronic keyboard” or “electric piano”).

Ejemplo: Yes, I took a music class once a week each semester. I enjoyed it because our kind teacher demonstrated different musical instruments, such as an electronic keyboard, and we practiced simple songs together.

Sugerencia: Answer directly and organise ideas with linking words (for example, usually, while). Keep sentences concise and correct common errors (e.g., “while brushing my teeth,” “start my day,” “I listen to music while I have breakfast”). Give one or two specific routines.

Ejemplo: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things. For example, I usually play my favorite songs in the morning while I brush my teeth and eat breakfast because they help me feel refreshed and ready for the day.

× Happy with the music I can become more happier but when I sat I can still use music to comfort me and make me feel quite better.

✓ When I listen to happy music, I become happier; when I am sad, I can still use music to comfort me and make me feel much better.

The original uses the comparative 'more happier' which is redundant; use either 'more happy' or 'happier' (rule: avoid double comparatives). 'Sat' is a misspelling of 'sad' and 'with the music' is awkward; use 'when I listen to happy music' or 'When I am sad'. Also 'quite better' is nonstandard; 'much better' or 'better' is appropriate. Improve word choice and word order for clarity. Suggested fix: use single comparative form ('happier'), correct spelling ('sad'), and clearer clauses ('When I listen...' and 'when I am sad').

× And I think that music is kind of window and what we call summit for people.

✓ I think that music is like a window and a summit for people.

The phrase 'is kind of window' is missing the article 'a' and 'kind of' is informal and imprecise. 'What we call summit' is ungrammatical as used; use parallel nouns with articles: 'a window and a summit'. This fixes article use and idiomatic phrasing. Suggested fix: add articles ('a') and use 'like' instead of 'kind of' for clarity.

× Because when I happy I can use music to express my feeling, like when I post a picture or I'm dressing for a happy things, then I can use music to accompany with me so that everything's gonna be better.

✓ When I am happy I can use music to express my feelings; for example, when I post a picture or dress for a happy occasion, I can have music accompany me so that everything will be better.

Missing 'am' after 'I' (copula) and 'feeling' should be plural ('feelings') for general use. 'I'm dressing for a happy things' has number and article errors: use 'dress for a happy occasion'. 'Accompany with me' is ungrammatical; say 'music accompany me' or 'accompany me'. 'Gonna' is informal; use 'will be'. Fix verb forms and articles and avoid informal contractions. Suggested fix: include 'am', pluralize 'feelings', replace 'things' with 'occasion', use 'accompany me', and use 'will' instead of 'gonna'.

× Yeah, every semester I remember we had the class music for once a week.

✓ Yes, I remember that every semester we had a music class once a week.

Word order is awkward and article use: 'the class music' is incorrect; 'a music class' or 'a music lesson' is correct. 'For once a week' is unidiomatic; place 'once a week' at end. Keep past tense 'had' but fix noun phrase and word order. Suggested fix: 'we had a music class once a week.'

× Our teacher was very, very kind and so elegant.

✓ Our teacher was very kind and elegant.

The repetition 'very, very' is acceptable colloquially but redundant; removing one 'very' yields more natural English. No grammatical error beyond register. Suggest concise phrasing. Suggested fix: 'very kind and elegant.'

× She would play some music instruments, like some electronic piano.

✓ She would play some musical instruments, such as an electric piano.

'Music instruments' should be 'musical instruments'. 'Electronic piano' is nonstandard; use 'electric piano' and include appropriate article 'an' for singular countable noun. Also 'some' with a singular 'piano' is incorrect; use 'an electric piano' or 'electric pianos'. Suggested fix: 'musical instruments, such as an electric piano.'

× Yeah, exactly. And you know, every day their new start ever begin every day with a new music world, my favorite song, I feel like it can refresh my mind and get a good starting with my new day.

✓ Yes. Every day begins anew with a new musical world; my favorite song refreshes my mind and gives me a good start to the day.

Several pronoun and word choice errors: 'their' is incorrect pronoun; the subject should be 'every day' which is singular. 'New start ever begin every day' is ungrammatical; use 'begins anew' or 'starts anew'. 'A new music world' is awkward; 'a new musical world' is better. 'Get a good starting with my new day' is odd—use 'gives me a good start to the day'. Fix subject-verb agreement, pronoun, and idiomatic expressions. Suggested fix: use 'Every day begins anew', 'musical', and 'gives me a good start to the day.'

× And this is so different. While brushing my days, while eating my breakfast, I would choose to listen to music.

✓ I do this in many situations. While brushing my teeth or eating breakfast, I choose to listen to music.

'Brushing my days' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'brushing my teeth'. 'Eating my breakfast' is acceptable but 'eating breakfast' is more natural. Tense: 'would choose' suggests habitual past; context implies present habitual, so use 'choose'. Also 'And this is so different' is vague and can be omitted or clarified. Suggested fix: 'While brushing my teeth or eating breakfast, I choose to listen to music.'