Music— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: 문법과 표현을 더 정확하게 하고, 불필요한 반복을 줄이세요. 예를 들어 주어-동사 일치(‘it may makes’ → ‘it may make’ 또는 ‘it makes’)를 고치고, ‘happy’ ‘excited’ ‘energetic’ 같은 비슷한 의미의 단어들을 한두 개로 간결하게 정리하세요. 또한 토픽 문장으로 직접 질문에 답한 뒤, 연결어를 사용해 이유를 부연하며 구체적인 예나 상황을 덧붙이면 점수가 올라갑니다.

Ejemplo: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and gives me energy. For instance, when I’m studying or exercising, upbeat pop songs help me stay focused and motivated.

Sugerencia: 응답은 직접적이고 자연스럽지만, 내용을 조금 더 구체화하고 연결어를 사용해 흐름을 매끄럽게 하세요. 예를 들어 왜 Bruno Mars 곡이 좋은지, 어떤 상황에서 더 신나게 느끼는지 구체적으로 설명하면 더 설득력 있습니다. 또한 문장은 2~3개로 구성해 명확한 토픽 문장과 지원 문장을 포함하세요.

Ejemplo: Yes, happy music definitely excites me, especially lively pop tracks. For example, Bruno Mars’ songs have catchy rhythms and upbeat melodies that make me want to dance when I’m getting ready to go out or working out.

× Yes, I prefer to listen to happy music because it may makes me feel happy and excited and ever energetic.

✓ Yes, I prefer to listen to happy music because it may make me feel happy, excited, and even energetic.

'May' is a modal verb and must be followed by the base form of the verb, so 'may makes' is incorrect; use 'may make'. 'Ever energetic' is unnatural here; the intended meaning is 'even energetic'. Also add commas to separate items in the list for clarity. Suggestion: use 'may make' and replace 'ever' with 'even', and punctuate the list properly.

× Sure, music makes me feel excited. I especially listen to Bruno Mars songs.

✓ Sure, music makes me feel excited. I especially listen to Bruno Mars' songs.

The original sentences are mostly correct in tense, but possessive form improves naturalness: use Bruno Mars' songs or Bruno Mars songs is acceptable; adding the possessive apostrophe clarifies ownership. No tense change is needed. Suggestion: use the possessive form for artists when referring to their songs or simply say 'I especially listen to Bruno Mars' songs.'