Band 7 Example

Question: Should students have physical education and do sports at school?

Idea 1

Yes
Model Answer
Definitely, students need to exercise more these days. There are so many overweight kids because they mostly sit around, play on computers, and don’t go out much. Plus, they eat too much unhealthy food. I think kids should have physical education (PE) every day at school until they start university. Studies show that doing sports helps kids concentrate better in their classes.
In this day and age, absolutely. The number of overweight kids I see is staggering and it's because a lot of them are leading very sedentary lives, in front of computers, not playing in the park, and eating far too much food that isn't always good for them. If anything, children should be doing PE every day in school all the way up until they go to university. All the research suggests that expending this energy doing sports helps children focus in class far more.
Grammar Analysis
Past participle phrases as attributive modifiers: "The number of overweight kids" The word "overweight" in this phrase is used as a past participle phrase to modify the noun directly, making the description more precise and vivid. Adverbial phrases: "far more" used as an adverbial phrase in the sentence, emphasizing the degree, enhancing the strength of the statement, and demonstrating a high level of language skills. Conditional sentence structure: "If anything, children should be doing PE every day" The use of this conditional sentence structure provides a hypothetical suggestion, demonstrating the ability to flexibly use different sentence structures to express viewpoints.
Vocabulary
  • in this day and age
  • overweight kid
  • staggering
  • sedentary lives
  • in front of computers
  • play in the park
  • far too much food
  • isn't always good for them
  • expend this energy
  • help children focus in class

Idea 2

No
Model Answer
I don't really think sports should be a big part of school. There are more crucial subjects like math or science that need more focus. Plus, sports can be risky and lead to injuries, which isn't ideal for students. Schools should prioritize academic learning over sports.
Personally, I'm of the view that physical education shouldn't be emphasized too much in schools. The rationale is that academic subjects, especially those central to future careers like mathematics or science, demand greater attention. Moreover, engaging in sports carries an inherent risk of injuries, which can be detrimental to a student's overall well-being and academic progress. Hence, academic pursuits should take precedence over physical activities in the educational setting.
Grammar Analysis
Modal verb usage: "shouldn't be emphasized too much" uses the modal verb "should" to indicate advice or possibility, showing the author's reserved attitude towards the importance of physical education. Noun phrase: "The rationale is that academic subjects..." Here a noun phrase is used to introduce an explanation of the importance of academic subjects, demonstrating the clarity and logic of the sentence. Comparative structure: "demand greater attention" uses the comparative form "greater" to indicate that academic subjects need more attention than sports, enhancing the contrast and emphasis of the argument.
Vocabulary
  • shouldn't be emphasized too much
  • rationale
  • central to future careers
  • demand greater attention
  • inherent risk of injuries
  • detrimental to
  • should take precedence over