Band 7 Example

Question: What are the benefits of going to the park for young people and old people?

Idea 1

Young people
Model Answer
Parks are great for young people because they offer a space to be active and unwind. They can run, play sports like football, and just get moving. It’s also a change of scenery after being cooped up studying or working. Just being in a park, with all its space and greenery, helps them relax and de-stress.
For young individuals, parks play a pivotal role as a venue for physical activity and a respite from their busy lives. They're ideal for engaging in exercises like jogging or playing a game of football, offering a much-needed outlet for their energy. Moreover, these expansive green spaces serve as a sanctuary where they can decompress and rejuvenate after hours of studying or work, amidst nature's tranquility.
Grammar Analysis
Adjectives used as attributive modifiers: "pivotal role" and "expansive green spaces" these adjectives used as attributive modifiers enhance the descriptive nature of the words, making the sentence more specific and vivid. Present participle phrases as adverbial adjuncts: "engaging in exercises like jogging or playing a game of football" this present participle phrase used as an adverbial adjunct enriches the description of the activities, adding complexity and information to the sentence. Use of noun phrases: "a venue for physical activity" and "a sanctuary where they can decompress" the use of these noun phrases makes the content more substantial and the expression more accurate. Relative clauses: "where they can decompress and rejuvenate" using a relative clause to describe in detail the functions of the park, increasing the complexity and depth of expression in the sentence.
Vocabulary
  • pivotal role
  • venue
  • physical activity
  • respite
  • busy life
  • ideal
  • jog
  • game of football
  • outlet
  • expansive green spaces
  • sanctuary
  • decompress
  • rejuvenate
  • nature's tranquility

Idea 2

Old people
Model Answer
I think the biggest benefit for both old and young people is getting out of the house. Many elderly find it hard to leave home or lack the motivation to do so. This can lead to them staying indoors all the time, which isn't good for their health. Going to the park helps them exercise and maybe meet other people. For young people, too much screen time is a problem. Going to the park gets them fresh air and some exercise, which is good for their health.
Personally, the main advantage for both of them is getting out of the house. A lot of elderly people find it difficult to go out or just don't have the motivation to leave the house. This means they become housebound and their health deteriorates, so going to the park means they can get some exercise and maybe socialize with other people too. The same goes for youngsters as a lot of them spend hours and hours in front of a screen. Going to the park means they get some fresh air and move their bodies, which keeps them in shape.
Grammar Analysis
Adverb phrase: "Personally" This adverb phrase used at the beginning of the sentence clearly indicates that the answer is a personal opinion, adding subjectivity and personalization to the answer. Present participle phrase as adverbial: "getting out of the house" Using a present participle phrase as the main action of the sentence highlights the theme and makes the sentence structure more concise and clear. Parallel structure: "exercise and maybe socialize" This parallel structure enriches the content of the answer, making the expression smoother and more diverse.
Vocabulary
  • get out of the house
  • elderly people
  • housebound
  • health deteriorate
  • get some exercise
  • socialize with other people
  • in front of a screen
  • get some fresh air
  • move their bodies
  • keep them in shape