Band 7 Example
Topic: Describe a place you went to where the air was not clean
Example
A visit to an industrial city Where the place was I'm going to talk about a city I visited a couple of years ago called Linfen, which is located in Shanxi Province in China. It's quite infamous for its pollution levels due to heavy industrial activities. When and Why you went there I went there in the autumn of 2018 because I was doing a research project on industrial pollution and its effects on urban environments for my university course. It was essential to collect firsthand data and observations for my study. Why the air was not clean The air in Linfen was heavily polluted primarily because of the numerous coal mines and factories surrounding the area. These industries emit a significant amount of pollutants, including sulfur dioxide and fine particulate matter, which contribute to the dense smog and poor air quality. And explain how you felt about being in a place where the air was not clean Being in Linfen was quite an eye-opening experience for me. Initially, I felt overwhelmed by the visible haze that seemed to blanket the city constantly. It was disheartening to see the sun obscured by pollution and to witness locals going about their daily lives wearing masks. Breathing in the air there made me feel uneasy and concerned about the health implications for the people living in such conditions. It underscored the urgent need for sustainable practices and stricter environmental regulations to protect urban environments and public health. This experience deeply motivated me to advocate for environmental issues and contributed significantly to my research project, providing a stark, real-world example of the challenges and impacts of industrial pollution.
Grammar Analysis
The answer effectively utilizes a variety of grammatical structures to enhance clarity and depth. It uses past simple tense appropriately to describe events that have already occurred, such as "I went there in the autumn of 2018." Complex sentences are used to provide detailed explanations, for example, "These industries emit a significant amount of pollutants, including sulfur dioxide and fine particulate matter, which contribute to the dense smog and poor air quality." The use of modal verbs like "was essential" and "made me feel" effectively expresses necessity and personal reactions. The answer also demonstrates good use of passive voice to focus on the action rather than the doer, as seen in "It was disheartening to see the sun obscured by pollution."
Vocabulary
  • - **industrial city**: Specific type of city characterized by heavy industry.
  • - **infamous**: Well known for some bad quality or deed, used here to emphasize the negative reputation due to pollution.
  • - **pollution levels**: A measure of the amount and severity of pollutants.
  • - **heavy industrial activities**: Describes the intense industrial operations which are implied to be the source of pollution.
  • - **firsthand data**: Directly obtained data, emphasizing the authenticity and direct observation.
  • - **sulfur dioxide and fine particulate matter**: Specific pollutants mentioned to show detailed knowledge of the types of pollution.
  • - **dense smog**: Thick, visible air pollution, enhancing the imagery of severe pollution.
  • - **obscured by pollution**: Indicates how pollution has covered or hidden something, in this case, the sun.
  • - **health implications**: Refers to the effects or consequences on health due to the polluted environment.
  • - **sustainable practices and stricter environmental regulations**: Solutions or measures suggested to combat the issue of pollution.
  • - **advocate for environmental issues**: To support or argue for the protection and preservation of the environment.
  • - **stark, real-world example**: A clear and impactful real-life instance used to illustrate a point or issue.
  • These vocabulary choices are crucial as they not only describe the situation accurately but also reflect a higher level of language proficiency by using specific and technical terms related to the topic of pollution and environmental science.