Band 7 Example
Topic: Describe a person who encouraged you to achieve your goal
Example
A mentor at university Who the person is I'd like to talk about a professor I had during my university years, Dr. Smith, who was not only an expert in his field of environmental science but also a great mentor to many students, including myself. How he/she encouraged you Dr. Smith had a unique way of encouraging his students. He always pushed us to think critically and independently. For instance, during my final year project, he guided me through the research process but always made it clear that the ideas and execution needed to come from me. He provided constructive feedback, praised incremental successes, and was always available for consultation, which motivated me to delve deeper into my research. What goal you achieved With his encouragement and guidance, I was able to complete a comprehensive research project on renewable energy sources, which not only earned me a distinction for my thesis but also gave me the confidence to present my findings at a national conference. This was a significant achievement for me as it opened up many doors in my career path. And explain how you feel about this person I hold Dr. Smith in very high regard. His mentorship was one of the key highlights of my academic career. He not only helped me academically but also taught me valuable life lessons about perseverance and intellectual integrity. I feel immensely grateful for his guidance and genuinely admire him for his dedication to helping students achieve their full potential. His impact on my personal and professional growth has been profound, and I often find myself applying his teachings in various aspects of my life.
Grammar Analysis
The answer effectively utilizes a variety of complex sentence structures to convey detailed information and emotions, such as "He provided constructive feedback, praised incremental successes, and was always available for consultation, which motivated me to delve deeper into my research." This sentence not only describes actions but also their impact, enhancing the depth of the response. The use of past tense is consistent and appropriate, reflecting the experiences during university years. Modal verbs like "could" and "would" are used effectively to discuss potential and abilities, as seen in "which not only earned me a distinction for my thesis but also gave me the confidence to present my findings."
Vocabulary
  • - **mentor**: Indicates a guiding and influential figure, more than just a teacher.
  • - **think critically and independently**: Suggests a method of thinking that is both analytical and self-sufficient.
  • - **constructive feedback**: Implies feedback that is meant to improve and build upon existing skills or knowledge.
  • - **incremental successes**: Highlights small, progressive achievements that contribute to larger goals.
  • - **comprehensive research project**: Describes a thorough and detailed study.
  • - **earned me a distinction**: Indicates a high level of achievement.
  • - **intellectual integrity**: Refers to the quality of being honest and adhering to strong moral principles in intellectual pursuits.
  • - **profound impact**: Describes a deep and significant effect.