故事— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Perbaiki pengulangan kata dan gunakan kalimat yang lebih alami dan efektif. Gunakan kalimat yang lebih jelas dan langsung menjawab pertanyaan dengan struktur yang baik.

範例: Yes, I loved stories when I was a child. I often read about inventors who created important things like the telephone, the lamp, and electricity. I also enjoyed writing documents about these topics.

建議: Kurangi pengulangan dan filler seperti 'uh'. Gunakan kalimat yang lebih jelas dan tata bahasa yang benar. Tambahkan kata penghubung untuk membuat jawaban lebih koheren.

範例: I prefer reading stories because it allows me to gradually gain insights into the real lives behind these wonders. Moreover, reading helps me understand details better than just listening.

建議: Perbaiki tata bahasa dan hindari pengulangan kata. Gunakan kalimat yang lebih alami dan efektif untuk menjelaskan alasan dengan jelas.

範例: No, I never wrote stories as a child because I found it quite difficult, especially for children. I preferred reading stories rather than writing them.

建議: Perbaiki tata bahasa dan gunakan kata penghubung untuk membuat jawaban lebih koheren. Berikan contoh yang lebih spesifik dan hindari kata 'et cetera'.

範例: I like stories about founding fathers, especially those of countries like George Washington. By reading their stories, I gain insights into how they built their nations and overcame challenges.

× When I was a kid I I read a lot of stories for some founders of some particular things like phone, lamp and also electricity.

✓ When I was a kid, I read a lot of stories about the founders of particular things like the phone, the lamp, and electricity.

The phrase 'founders of some particular things' is awkward and unclear. 'Founders' is plural, which is correct, but 'some particular things' should be 'particular things' without 'some' for clarity. Also, 'phone' and 'lamp' need definite articles 'the' because they refer to specific inventions. The sentence also had a repeated 'I'.

× I read a lot of stories for some founders of some particular things like phone, lamp and also electricity.

✓ I read a lot of stories about the founders of particular things like the phone, the lamp, and electricity.

The preposition 'for' is incorrect here; the correct preposition is 'about' when referring to the subject of stories.

× And also I love to write a document.

✓ And also, I love to write documents.

The phrase 'a document' is too specific and unnatural in this context. Using the plural 'documents' is more appropriate when talking about writing in general.

× I prefer to read, uh, I prefer to read the stories because by reading we are gradually have obtained some insights about how the actual life of that kind of wonder and also, uh, other things.

✓ I prefer to read stories because by reading, we gradually obtain some insights about the actual life of those kinds of wonders and other things.

The phrase 'we are gradually have obtained' is incorrect; it mixes present continuous and present perfect. The correct form is simple present 'we gradually obtain' to match the habitual action. Also, 'the stories' should be 'stories' for general preference, and 'that kind of wonder' should be pluralized to 'those kinds of wonders' for agreement.

× especially for children's.

✓ especially for children.

'Children's' is possessive and incorrect here; the plural noun 'children' is correct.

× And also I'm more to I'm more to reading a story rather than writing a story actually.

✓ And also, I prefer reading stories rather than writing them.

The phrase 'I'm more to I'm more to reading' is redundant and incorrect. 'Prefer' is a better verb here. Also, 'a story' should be plural 'stories' to generalize, and 'writing a story' should be 'writing them' to avoid repetition.

× A story about the founding father LA specially the founding father of the country like George Washington and et cetera.

✓ Stories about founding fathers, especially the founding fathers of countries like George Washington, etc.

'A story' should be plural 'Stories' to generalize. 'Founding father LA' is unclear and likely a mistake; 'founding fathers' is plural. 'Et cetera' is abbreviated as 'etc.' and should be used carefully.

× By reading their story, I gained insight about how founding father built the country.

✓ By reading their stories, I gained insight into how the founding fathers built the country.

'Founding father' should be plural 'founding fathers' to match the plural subject. Also, 'insight about' should be 'insight into' for correct collocation.