假期— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make the answer more natural by correcting small grammar points, using precise time expressions, and avoiding redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details (who you met, what you did) using linking words.

範例: I went back to my hometown, Gunma Prefecture, for my last holiday. It was about an hour and a half from Tokyo Station by bullet train, and I met several family members there, so we had lunch together at a local restaurant.

建議: Good structure and relevant details. Improve naturalness by replacing informal phrase “recharging my battery” with a more neutral expression and tightening phrasing. Use one linking word to connect reason and example.

範例: Yes, I enjoy holidays because they help me recover from long periods of work. For example, I usually spend a few days relaxing at home or going away with my family, which helps me return to work feeling more motivated and less tired.

建議: Correct grammar (article use and plural/singular), avoid repetition, and be more specific about activities or destinations. Use a linking word to explain why Golden Week is your favorite.

範例: My favorite is Golden Week because it combines several national holidays, giving me an extended break. Therefore, I can take longer trips to distant places, such as visiting Hokkaido or my hometown, which I cannot do during shorter breaks.

建議: Good content and clear reason. Improve grammar (phrasing like “during the break up” is odd) and make sentences concise. Add a linking phrase to connect hobby and purpose.

範例: I usually spend my holidays practicing my hobby. As an assistant capoeira teacher, I focus on improving my technique and fitness during the break so I can teach my students more effectively.

建議: Answer is relevant and gives a clear example. Improve naturalness by removing phrases like “a lot of” and correcting word forms (congestions → congestion). Keep sentences concise and use a linking word to present the example.

範例: Yes, I prefer staying at home because many places in Tokyo are very crowded. For example, Harajuku is often so congested that shopping becomes stressful, so I avoid going there on my days off.

建議: Reasoning is clear but phrasing needs polishing and some repetition removed. Replace informal expressions and correct article use. Use a linking word to show consequence.

範例: I prefer a leisurely holiday because time off is important for me to recover. If I have a busy holiday, I often feel tired during the following workweek.

建議: Clarify and correct awkward phrases (“depends on the fitting of the day”, “our peaceful holiday”). Avoid repeating “generally.” Be specific about when you choose exciting vs peaceful and use linking words.

範例: It depends on the occasion, but I usually prefer a peaceful holiday. For instance, I often spend my days off in a café or at the library because those places are quieter and help me relax.

× On last holidays, I visited Gumma Prefecture, which is my hometown.

✓ Last holiday, I visited Gumma Prefecture, which is my hometown.

Use 'last holiday' or 'last holidays' depending on singular/plural context. 'On last holidays' is unnatural. Replace with 'Last holiday' to indicate the most recent holiday period; alternatively 'During the last holidays' could work. Use 'Last holiday' here because the speaker refers to one holiday period.

× It took 1 1/2 hours from Tokyo station by bullet train and there I met my family members and had lunch with them.

✓ It took one and a half hours to get from Tokyo Station by bullet train, and there I met my family and had lunch with them.

Use 'to get from' or 'to travel from' rather than 'from ... by' for clarity. Write numbers in words for fluency in speech transcripts. 'Family members' can be shortened to 'family' as natural in English. Capitalize 'Station'.

× I do love holidays because they are essential for recharging my battery after long period of work.

✓ I do love holidays because they are essential for recharging my battery after a long period of work.

Missing article before 'long period'. Use 'a long period' to specify one period of work. This is an article error.

× For example, I usually spend a few days relaxing at home or going away with my family, which helps me to return to work feeling much more motivated and less tired.

✓ For example, I usually spend a few days relaxing at home or going away with my family, which helps me return to work feeling much more motivated and less tired.

Omit 'to' after 'helps me' because the correct structure is 'helps someone do something' or 'helps someone to do something'—both are acceptable, but omitting 'to' sounds more natural here. This is a preposition/verb usage refinement.

× I love holidays called Golden Week in Japan which include several holidays in one week.

✓ I love the holidays called Golden Week in Japan, which include several holidays in one week.

Use definite article 'the' before 'holidays called Golden Week' because this refers to a specific set of holidays. Add a comma before 'which'.

× As I have several holidays in a row, I can take a long trip to a distant places.

✓ As I have several holidays in a row, I can take a long trip to distant places.

Remove the article 'a' before 'distant places' because 'places' is plural. The original mixed singular article with plural noun causes a singular/plural error.

× It is quite a good opportunity to for me to make such trips.

✓ It is quite a good opportunity for me to take such trips.

Incorrect word order: remove the extra 'to' and use 'take such trips' instead of 'make'. 'Take a trip' is the correct collocation in English.

× I usually spend most of my holidays practicing my hobby.

✓ I usually spend most of my holidays practicing my hobby.

Sentence is correct; present participle 'practicing' is appropriate to describe ongoing activity during holidays. No change needed.

× I'm an assistant capoeira teacher so I focus on improving my techniques and fitness during the break up to become better able to teach my students.

✓ I'm an assistant capoeira teacher, so I focus on improving my technique and fitness during the break to become better able to teach my students.

Use 'technique' (uncountable/general skill) rather than plural 'techniques' for this context. 'During the break up' is incorrect phrase; use 'during the break'. Add a comma before 'so'.

× To be honest, I like spending my day at home because most of the places in Tokyo are crowded with a lot of people.

✓ To be honest, I like spending my days at home because many places in Tokyo are crowded with a lot of people.

Use plural 'days' since speaking generally. 'Most of the places' is awkward; 'many places' or 'most places' is better. Avoid redundant 'with a lot of people' but it's acceptable; kept for emphasis.

× For example, in Harajuku, a shopping district, I cannot enjoy shopping due to the congestions, which makes me stressed.

✓ For example, in Harajuku, a shopping district, I cannot enjoy shopping due to the congestion, which makes me stressed.

Use 'congestion' (uncountable) rather than 'congestions'. 'Congestion' refers to crowdedness in general.

× I prefer a leisurely holiday to a busy one because holiday is essential for me to recharge my battery.

✓ I prefer a leisurely holiday to a busy one because a holiday is essential for me to recharge my battery.

Missing article 'a' before 'holiday'. Use 'a holiday' when speaking generally about one holiday experience.

× If I spend a busy day on holiday, I will be tired on the next following weekdays.

✓ If I spend a busy day on holiday, I will be tired on the following weekdays.

'Next following weekdays' is redundant. Use 'the following weekdays' or 'the next few weekdays'. This corrects awkward future-time expression.

× It depends on the fitting of the day, but I generally prefer our peaceful holiday.

✓ It depends on the feeling of the day, but I generally prefer a peaceful holiday.

'Fitting' is incorrect; likely meant 'feeling'. 'Our peaceful holiday' is odd when speaking generally; use 'a peaceful holiday'. This fixes incorrect word choice and pronoun/article usage.

× For example, I generally spend my holidays at cafe or library where it is quieter and less noisy.

✓ For example, I generally spend my holidays at a cafe or a library where it is quieter and less noisy.

Add indefinite articles 'a' before 'cafe' and 'library'. This is an article error. Also 'quieter and less noisy' is slightly redundant but acceptable.