广告— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장 구조가 단순하고 반복(‘advert advert’)이 있으며 구체성이 부족합니다. 첫문장에서 직접적으로 답을 제시한 점은 괜찮으나, 추가 세부사항(어떤 스낵인지, 왜 인상적이었는지, 광고의 요소 등)이 없어서 답변을 확장할 필요가 있습니다. 연결어를 사용해 이유와 예를 덧붙이고 문장 수를 3~4문장으로 구성하세요.

範例: Yes. When I was a child, a snack commercial for "Crunchy Bits" impressed me the most. The ad used a funny mascot and a memorable jingle, which made it easy to remember. Because of its catchy tune and colorful animation, I always wanted to try that snack.

建議: 답은 직접적이지만 너무 단순하고 부자연스러운 표현(‘I don't see any advertising’)을 사용했습니다. 현실적으로 광고가 존재하더라도 학생이 주의하지 않음을 설명하는 식으로 구체화하세요. 연결어(so, because, therefore 등)를 사용해 이유와 결과를 명확히 하고 문장을 2~3문장으로 확장하면 좋습니다.

範例: Not really. I usually use my phone on the subway, so I rarely notice posters or digital ads. Because I'm focused on messages and music, the ads around me hardly register.

建議: 좋은 시작(조건을 달아 답함)이지만 표현이 약간 어색하고 장황합니다. 'depends on the situation' 뒤에 구체적인 기준(어떤 종류를 좋아하는지, 왜 싫어하는지)을 추가하세요. 또한 문장 연결을 위해 'however', 'for example' 등을 사용해 논리 흐름을 명확히 하세요.

範例: It depends. I enjoy creative ads because I'm interested in advertising and they give me inspiration. However, I dislike intrusive ads on YouTube that interrupt videos and distract me.

建議: 문법 오류와 표현 혼동('bad Ace'?)이 있어 의미 전달이 불명확합니다. 구체적인 예시와 정확한 단어 사용이 필요합니다. 먼저 주제를 명확히 제시한 뒤, 연결어로 이유와 예시를 추가하세요. 광고의 특징(카피, 음악, 유머 등)을 분명히 설명하세요.

範例: I prefer ads with clever ideas and strong copywriting. For example, commercials that use witty slogans or catchy songs tend to grab my attention because they are memorable and entertaining.

建議: 내용은 이해되지만 몇몇 어색한 구문('I don't use it YouTube Premium')과 길이가 길어 가독성이 떨어집니다. 문장을 두 개로 나누고 이유를 간결히 제시하세요. 또한 반복을 줄이고 자연스러운 표현을 사용하세요.

範例: Yes, I see ads on YouTube almost every day because I don't have Premium. I usually watch some of them without skipping since I look for creative ideas and inspiration.

× There was an advert advertisement that I liked the most and that was the snack advertisement.

✓ There was an advertisement that I liked the most, and it was a snack advertisement.

The sentence repeats 'advert' and 'advertisement' (redundant). Also 'that was the snack advertisement' is awkward; use a comma and 'it was' for clarity. Use 'an advertisement' with correct article use and avoid repetition. Suggestion: say 'There was an advertisement I liked the most, and it was for a snack.'

× Actually I'm on the phone every day on trains or other transport like subway, so I don't see any advertising.

✓ Actually, I'm on my phone every day on trains or other transport, like the subway, so I don't notice much advertising.

Use 'on my phone' instead of 'on the phone' to indicate personal device. 'Subway' needs the definite article 'the subway'. 'See any advertising' is natural but 'notice much advertising' fits meaning. Tense is present simple for habitual action; maintain that. Suggestion: use 'I'm on my phone every day' and include 'the' before 'subway'.

× Actually it depends on the situations. I am interested in making advertisements, so the references are really helpful for me, but I don't like the advertisements when I watch YouTube or something.

✓ Actually, it depends on the situation. I am interested in making advertisements, so references are really helpful for me, but I don't like advertisements when I watch YouTube or similar platforms.

Use singular 'situation' after 'depends on the' for general statement. Remove unnecessary articles before 'references' and 'advertisements'. 'YouTube or something' is informal; use 'similar platforms'. Keep present simple tense. Suggestion: say 'it depends on the situation' and avoid unnecessary articles.

× I like the advertising that has the catchy ideas like good copywriting such as the bad Ace and I like the catchy songs with that.

✓ I like advertisements that have catchy ideas and good copywriting, such as the 'Bad Ace' campaign, and I also like catchy songs in them.

Use plural 'advertisements' or 'ads' instead of 'the advertising'. Omit 'the' before 'catchy ideas'. 'Such as the bad Ace' is unclear; proper noun capitalization and article needed: 'the Bad Ace campaign' or simply 'Bad Ace'. Rephrase to clarify 'catchy songs in them'. Suggestion: be specific and capitalize brand or campaign names.

× Yeah, I see advertisements every day on YouTube because I don't use it YouTube Premium, and I often see advertisements not skipping them because I want to get ideas through them.

✓ Yeah, I see advertisements every day on YouTube because I don't use YouTube Premium, and I often don't skip them because I want to get ideas from them.

Remove extra pronoun 'it' before 'YouTube Premium'. Use 'don't skip them' or 'often don't skip them' instead of 'see advertisements not skipping them'. Use 'get ideas from them' rather than 'through them'. Maintain present simple tense for habitual actions. Suggestion: say 'I don't use YouTube Premium' and 'I often don't skip ads because I want ideas.'