艺术— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct tense and article use, and include a brief specific example. Use linking words sparingly to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, I do. I find drawing the best way to express emotions without words. For example, when I’m stressed I sketch faces to calm down, which helps me process my feelings.

建議: Make grammar consistent and be specific: choose correct singular/plural, use articles, and explain what you mean by "web gallery" or "gallery". Add a linking phrase to show cause and effect.

範例: Sometimes I visit online galleries when I’m bored because their bright, uplifting artworks usually improve my mood. For instance, browsing contemporary illustrations often cheers me up after a long day.

建議: Reduce repetition, correct grammar and verb forms, and organise points logically: state desire, give two specific reasons with linking words, and end with a brief future outcome. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I definitely want to learn more about art because it develops my technical skills and creative thinking. For example, studying colour theory improved my paintings, and in the future these skills could help me find work in design or become a professional artist.

建議: Use correct past tense and avoid repeating phrases. Start with a direct answer, then give two clear reasons with linking words (e.g. "because", "so"). Be concise and specific about age/context.

範例: No, I didn’t learn drawing as a child because schoolwork was overwhelming and my parents wanted me to focus on studies. As a result, I didn’t have time or support to take art classes.

× Yeah, I'll definitely like the drawing because from my point of view, it is the only way to share our emotion, to express our emotion and feelings without saying anything.

✓ Yeah, I definitely like drawing because, from my point of view, it is the only way to share our emotions and express our feelings without saying anything.

The student used 'the drawing' and 'the emotion' incorrectly. 'Drawing' as a general hobby does not need the definite article; use the uncountable or gerund form. 'Emotion' should be plural 'emotions' to match 'feelings' and general meaning. Also remove redundant 'I'll' since the present preference is intended. Suggestions: use 'I like drawing' for general statements, use plurals for general references to feelings.

× Yeah, sometime I like to go to the web gallery when I am bored because it's positive environment enhances my mood when I am sad.

✓ Yeah, sometimes I like to go to the web gallery when I am bored because its positive environment enhances my mood when I am sad.

The student wrote 'sometime' (meaning 'at some time') but intended 'sometimes' (meaning 'occasionally'). Also 'it's positive environment' wrongly uses a contraction; the possessive pronoun 'its' is needed to show possession. Suggestion: use 'sometimes' for habitual occasional actions and 'its' for possessive forms.

× Yeah, definitely. I love want to learn more about the art because it helped by learning art.

✓ Yeah, definitely. I want to learn more about art because learning about art helps me.

The original mixes 'I love want' (incorrect combination) and misuses 'the art' and passive 'it helped by learning art.' Use 'I want' or 'I would love to' but not both together. 'Art' as a general subject does not need 'the'. Use active voice: 'learning about art helps me.' Suggestion: choose one modal expression and use correct article and active verb forms.

× It helped me to develop my skills and and helps me to work on my skills where I am lacking.

✓ It helps me to develop my skills and to work on areas where I am lacking.

The tense shifts incorrectly from past 'helped' to present 'helps.' Because the student speaks about a current ongoing benefit, use present tense 'helps.' Also 'and and' is duplicated. 'Work on my skills where I am lacking' is awkward; 'work on areas where I am lacking' is clearer. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and remove duplicate words.

× And maybe it helps in the in the future, it helps me to pursue a good career or it helps me to become a famous artist.

✓ Maybe it will help in the future; it could help me pursue a good career or become a famous artist.

The sentence mixes present and future meaning. Use 'will help' or 'could help' for future possibilities. Also remove duplicated 'in the.' Use modal 'could' to express possibility and make coordination smoother. Suggestion: use appropriate future modal verbs and avoid repetition.

× No, because when I am a kid I didn't like learn drawing because there was a lot of burden on me of my studies and school doesn't allow me to draw instead of escaping my studies and my parents also doesn't allow me to draw instead of escaping my studies.

✓ No, because when I was a kid I didn't like learning to draw since I had a heavy burden of studies, and the school didn't allow me to draw because it would distract me; my parents also didn't allow me to draw for the same reason.

Multiple tense and grammar issues: 'when I am a kid' should be 'when I was a kid' (past time). 'Didn't like learn' should be 'didn't like learning' or 'didn't want to learn.' 'There was a lot of burden on me of my studies' is awkward; use 'I had a heavy burden of studies.' 'School doesn't allow' and 'parents also doesn't allow' must be past tense 'didn't allow' to match the past context, and subject-verb agreement ('parents don't' if present). Also 'instead of escaping my studies' is unclear; 'because it would distract me' is clearer. Suggestions: keep past tense consistently for past events, use gerund after 'like' and ensure subject-verb agreement.