老师— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to be more concise and use correct grammar. Also, avoid redundancy by not repeating similar ideas. Use linking words properly to connect your ideas smoothly.

範例: Yes, I have several favorite teachers. They are kind-hearted and have helped me a lot by providing valuable assistance. Moreover, I think most of them are very talented and skilled in their teaching methods.

建議: Your answer is somewhat confusing and repetitive. Try to answer directly and clearly. Use simple sentences and avoid hesitation. Also, provide a reason or additional detail to enrich your answer.

範例: No, I am not in touch with my primary school teacher anymore because it has been many years since I graduated. However, I still remember them fondly.

建議: Your answer has good content but contains grammatical mistakes and some awkward phrasing. Use correct verb forms and clearer expressions. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

範例: My favorite teacher helped me in several ways. For example, they encouraged me with kind words. When I was feeling down during difficult times, they gave me advice and motivated me to keep going.

建議: Your answer is clear but could be more concise and natural. Avoid awkward phrases like "which could help me earn a lot." Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

範例: Actually, I am very ambitious, so I don't think being a teacher would fulfill my goals. Instead, I want to become an entrepreneur because it would allow me to earn money and support charitable causes, which is my dream.

× Yes, I have a plenty of my favorite teacher.

✓ Yes, I have plenty of favorite teachers.

The phrase 'a plenty of' is incorrect; 'plenty of' does not require an article 'a'. Also, 'teacher' should be plural 'teachers' because 'plenty of' refers to more than one.

× They are very kind hearted and which helped me a lot and give me a lot of assistance.

✓ They are very kind-hearted and have helped me a lot and given me a lot of assistance.

The relative pronoun 'which' is incorrectly used here; it should be omitted. Also, verb forms need to agree with the plural subject 'they' and past tense is required for 'helped' and 'given'.

× And what's more, moreover I think most of them are very talented and well skilled, have a lot of technique.

✓ Moreover, I think most of them are very talented and well-skilled, and have a lot of technique.

Using both 'And what's more' and 'moreover' together is redundant. Also, 'well skilled' should be hyphenated as 'well-skilled'. The sentence needs 'and' before 'have a lot of technique' to connect the clauses properly.

× Actually, it's about 5 years, 10 years and 10 years elapsed and I can really remember and think of my teacher from primary school.

✓ Actually, about 5, 10, or even 10 years have elapsed, and I can really remember and think of my teacher from primary school.

The verb 'elapsed' requires an auxiliary verb 'have' to form the present perfect tense. Also, the phrase is awkward and needs clarification with commas and conjunctions.

× So I, I'm, I don't, I don't keep in touch with my primary school teacher anymore.

✓ So, I don't keep in touch with my primary school teacher anymore.

The sentence contains unnecessary repetitions ('I, I'm, I don't, I don't'). Simplifying to 'I don't keep in touch' is grammatically correct and clearer.

× My favorite teacher helped me in several ways, such as like give me some encourages, encourages words.

✓ My favorite teacher helped me in several ways, such as giving me some encouraging words.

After 'such as', the verb should be in the '-ing' form ('giving'). Also, 'encourages' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'encouraging'.

× And when I was down, you know, everybody has their prime and their and their slump.

✓ And when I was down, you know, everybody has their prime and their slump.

The phrase 'their and their' is repetitive and redundant; it should be simplified to 'their' once.

× So when I was in my slump, they always gave me a lot of advice and cheer me up, motivate me.

✓ So when I was in my slump, they always gave me a lot of advice and cheered me up, motivated me.

The verbs 'cheer' and 'motivate' should be in the past tense 'cheered' and 'motivated' to agree with 'gave' and the past context.

× Actually, I'm a very ambitious man, so I think being a teacher can't fulfill my ambition.

✓ Actually, I'm a very ambitious man, so I think being a teacher cannot fulfill my ambition.

The contraction 'can't' is informal; in formal speech, 'cannot' is preferred. Also, 'can't' is acceptable but 'cannot' is clearer in formal contexts.

× And what's more, I want to be an entrepreneur, so which could help me earn a lot and I would do a lot of charity.

✓ And what's more, I want to be an entrepreneur, which could help me earn a lot, and I would do a lot of charity work.

The pronoun 'which' should refer to 'being an entrepreneur' and not be preceded by 'so'. Also, 'do a lot of charity' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'do a lot of charity work'.

× This is my dream and being a teacher in the future is not a part of my goal.

✓ This is my dream, and being a teacher in the future is not part of my goal.

The sentence needs a comma before 'and' to separate two independent clauses. Also, 'not a part of my goal' is better expressed as 'not part of my goal' for conciseness.