生日— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer needs to be more natural and grammatically correct. Try to start with a clear topic sentence and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, keep your answer within 5 sentences.

範例: On my birthday, I usually have a small party with my family. We bring a cake and enjoy it together. After that, we celebrate by sharing stories and having fun.

建議: Your answer is relevant but can be improved by making sentences more fluent and connected. Avoid repeating 'used to' too often and use linking words to make your answer coherent.

範例: When I was young, my parents used to celebrate my birthday with a grand party. They invited neighbors and relatives, so we had a big celebration together.

建議: Your answer covers the idea but needs better structure and clarity. Use linking words like 'however' to contrast ideas and avoid repetition. Also, correct grammar and sentence flow will improve your answer.

範例: I think celebrating birthdays is important, but it depends on personal beliefs. For example, some religions do not celebrate birthdays; however, in Hinduism, we celebrate them with great joy.

建議: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Please clarify who you mean and use correct sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific details about the celebration.

範例: I think the most important birthday to celebrate in China is that of the Dalai Lama. He is a respected figure, and many people honour his birthday by lighting candles and gathering together for prayers.

× On my birthday is.

✓ On my birthday, I usually have a small party with my family.

The original sentence 'On my birthday is.' is incomplete and lacks a main verb and subject, making it a sentence structure error. The corrected sentence provides a clear subject and verb, making it grammatically correct.

× And we got it together and then celebrate our birthday.

✓ And we get together and then celebrate our birthday.

The phrase 'we got it together' incorrectly uses the past tense 'got' where the present tense 'get' is appropriate to match the habitual action described. Also, 'celebrate' should be in present tense to maintain consistency.

× my parents used to. Celebrate my birthday with a grand party.

✓ My parents used to celebrate my birthday with a grand party.

The period after 'used to' incorrectly breaks the sentence, causing a sentence fragment. Removing the period and combining the sentence corrects the structure.

× But it depends from person to person because some people in many religions follow a rule that they do not celebrate their birthday.

✓ But it depends on the person because some people in many religions follow a rule that they do not celebrate their birthday.

The phrase 'depends from person to person' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'depends on the person'. Also, 'person to person' is better expressed as 'the person' for clarity.

× But in our Hinduism we use we celebrate our birthday with a lot of pleasure.

✓ But in our Hinduism, we celebrate our birthday with a lot of pleasure.

The phrase 'we use we celebrate' is incorrect due to the unnecessary repetition of 'we'. Removing 'use' corrects the pronoun usage.

× I think. It is very important to celebrate the birthday of the lilama here becauses he's a great personality in China Anne.

✓ I think it is very important to celebrate the birthday of the Dalai Lama here because he is a great personality in China.

The sentence has unnecessary periods breaking the sentence and incorrect pronoun usage. 'he's' is acceptable but 'he is' is clearer. Also, 'lilama' should be 'Dalai Lama' and 'becauses' corrected to 'because'. 'Anne' seems to be a typo and removed.

× Many people follow him and they celebrate his birthday by lighting candles and have. Jobs together.

✓ Many people follow him and celebrate his birthday by lighting candles and having meals together.

The sentence is broken by a period after 'have' and 'jobs' is likely a typo for 'meals' or 'gatherings'. Correcting the sentence structure and word choice improves clarity.