网络— Part 1 評分報告

建議: ปรับประโยคให้ชัดและสั้นกว่าเดิม เริ่มด้วยประโยคตรงๆ ระบุอายุแล้วอธิบายสั้นๆ สาเหตุหรือความทรงจำหนึ่งถึงสองประโยค หลีกเลี่ยงคำซ้ำและข้อผิดพลาดไวยากรณ์ เช่น การใช้ tense และ article ให้ถูกต้อง รวมทั้งทำให้ประโยคเชื่อมโยงด้วย linking words (e.g., "because", "so")

範例: I started using the internet when I was ten. I learned it at school during my first computer class, and at that time connections were very slow because we used dial-up, so waiting was common.

建議: ตอบให้ตรงคำถามโดยเริ่มด้วยความถี่ (daily/weekly) แล้วระบุเวลารวมและกิจกรรมที่ทำออนไลน์ ใช้ตัวเลขชัดเจนและเชื่อมด้วย linking words เพื่อความลื่นไหล หลีกเลี่ยงคำพูดไม่แน่นอนและคำยุ่ง (um/uh)

範例: I go online almost every day, for about nine hours a week in total. I usually use the internet for searching information and using social media, so most of my time is spent browsing and learning.

建議: เริ่มด้วยประโยคตอบตรงๆ เช่น "Yes, I remember..." แล้วอธิบายสถานการณ์และเหตุผลอย่างชัดเจน ใช้โครงสร้างประโยคที่ถูกต้องและหลีกเลี่ยงการซ้ำคำ เช่น "the the" และให้ตัวอย่างสั้นๆ เพื่อสนับสนุนคำตอบ

範例: Yes, I remember during important exams like the IELTS I was not allowed to use the internet. This rule prevents cheating, so all students must rely on their own knowledge during the test.

建議: ตอบแบบตรงไปตรงมาแล้วให้เหตุผลชัดเจน ใช้ linking words (e.g., "because", "however") และยกตัวอย่างพฤติกรรมที่แสดงการบาลานซ์ (เช่น เวลาทำกิจกรรมกับครอบครัวหรือออกกำลังกาย) แก้ไวยากรณ์และคำที่ใช้ผิด เช่น "surreal informations"

範例: No, I don't think I spend too much time online because I try to balance it with real-life activities. For example, I meet friends in person and exercise regularly, so I limit my online time in the evenings.

建議: ตอบโดยเริ่มด้วยประโยคชัดเจนว่า "I would..." แล้วให้รายละเอียดเฉพาะ เช่น กิจกรรมและเหตุผล แสดงความชัดเจนและใช้คำศัพท์ที่เหมาะสม (e.g., "socialise", "be creative") และรวมตัวอย่างสั้นๆ เพื่อทำให้ตอบสมบูรณ์

範例: If there were no internet, I would spend more time exercising, such as swimming and running. I would also socialise with my family and friends and do creative activities like drawing to develop my skills.

× Let me think, when I was young, I was 10 years old then is the first step for studying computer subject and learn how to use Internet.

✓ Let me think, when I was young, I was 10 years old; that was when I first started studying computer subjects and learning how to use the Internet.

The original sentence mixes present and past tenses and uses incorrect verb forms. Use past tense for past events: 'was 10 years old' is fine, then 'that was when I first started studying' and 'learning' (gerund) to show ongoing action at that time. Also add articles: 'the Internet', and pluralize 'subjects' if referring to multiple topics. Suggestion: Maintain consistent past tense for events that happened in the past and use 'started + -ing' for beginnings of activities.

× But in the past when you access to the Internet, it's a so difficult and waiting for a long time because it depend on the.

✓ But in the past, when you accessed the Internet, it was very slow and you had to wait a long time because it depended on the connection.

The sentence has wrong verb forms and poor structure. Use past simple 'accessed' and 'was' to match past context. 'a so difficult' is incorrect; use 'very slow'. 'waiting for a long time' needs a subject: 'you had to wait a long time'. 'depend on the.' is incomplete; add 'connection' and use past 'depended'. Suggestion: Keep verbs consistent in past tense and complete dependent clauses with correct nouns.

× Is a an uncomfortable time, but I can give some the summarized for the week.

✓ It is an inconvenient time, but I can give a summary for the week.

The phrase 'Is a an' is ungrammatical; use 'It is an'. 'uncomfortable time' is awkward here — 'inconvenient' fits better. 'give some the summarized' is incorrect; use 'give a summary'. Suggestion: Use correct subject 'It' and choose appropriate noun phrases like 'a summary'.

× Inner weight is take time around, uh, nine hours for shakings and scoring the phone through searching in the.

✓ On average, I spend around nine hours per week checking and using my phone to search online.

Original uses incorrect nouns and verb forms. 'Inner weight' likely intended 'on average'. 'is take time' should be 'I spend'. 'shakings and scoring' are wrong; use 'checking and using'. Ensure 'per week' if summarizing weekly time and finish with 'search online'. Suggestion: Use 'I spend' + duration and correct gerunds ('checking', 'using', 'searching').

× MMM, when I have a the the examinations such as IL test or the crucial examinations because of is a first equipment for searchings and it's not unfair for other if you can search things or.

✓ Well, when I had important examinations such as IELTS or other crucial tests, I avoided using the Internet because it is the primary tool for searching and it would be unfair to others if you could look things up.

Use past tense 'had' for past events. Remove repeated 'the'. 'IL test' likely 'IELTS'. 'because of is a first equipment for searchings' is ungrammatical — use 'it is the primary tool for searching'. 'it's not unfair for other' should be 'it would be unfair to others'. Suggestion: Use past simple for past situations, correct test name, and use 'would be unfair' for conditional polite explanation.

× I don't think so, I can balance the time for searching on the Internet platform and have a shows here in the real life because of in a online platform is just like the surreal informations and sometime I want to have the real interactions with.

✓ I don't think so; I can balance my time searching on the Internet and spending time in real life because an online platform contains surreal information and sometimes I want real interactions.

Tense mix and article errors: 'have a shows here in the real life' is incorrect — use 'spending time in real life'. 'in a online platform' should be 'an online platform' and 'surreal informations' should be 'surreal information' (uncountable). 'sometime' -> 'sometimes'. Ensure sentence completes 'real interactions' without trailing 'with'. Suggestion: Use consistent present simple for general habits, correct articles ('an online platform'), and use uncountable 'information'.

× I usually spend the time for exercise such as swimming or running and for Co sizing with my friends, my parents or take the time for myself for drawing.

✓ I usually spend time exercising, such as swimming or running, socializing with my friends and parents, or taking time for myself to draw.

Use gerunds after 'spend' ('spend time exercising'). 'Co sizing' likely 'socializing'. Use parallel structure: 'exercising... socializing... taking time'. 'for drawing' -> 'to draw' or 'drawing' as gerund; here 'to draw' or 'for drawing' can work, but maintain parallel form. Suggestion: Keep parallel gerund structures and correct vocabulary ('socializing').

× It's just like the time for have a more creative.

✓ It's just time to be more creative.

The phrase 'the time for have a more creative' is ungrammatical. Use 'time to be more creative' or 'time for being more creative'. Remove unnecessary article 'a' before 'more creative'. Suggestion: Use 'time to' + verb or 'time for' + gerund, and avoid articles before adjectives like 'more creative'.