网络— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 句子时态与语法不准确，表达略冗长且有重复。回答缺乏清晰的主题句和连接词，细节可以更具体（例如大致年份、年龄或当时常做的具体活动）。控制在最多五句内并注意时态一致性。

範例: I started using the internet when I was in senior high school, around the age of sixteen. At that time I got my first smartphone and mainly used the internet to chat with friends and do school-related research. It quickly became my main way of keeping in touch and finding information.

建議: 回答简洁但有些重复，可提高连贯性和词汇多样性。建议用连接词展开一点细节（例如一天中什么时间、在线时长或偏好的活动），并避免重复“every day”。

範例: I go online every day, usually in the evenings for about two hours. I mainly stream TV shows and chat with family and friends, which has become an important part of my daily routine.

建議: 表达含糊且有语法错误（如“juniors junior high school”、“I'm not qualified”）。建议用清晰的时间表达并说明原因与结果，加入连接词使句子更连贯。提供具体限制方式（例如每天多少时间）。

範例: Yes, I remember when I was in junior high school my mother limited my internet use because she thought I couldn't use it responsibly. For example, I was only allowed one hour a day to do homework or chat with friends.

建議: 回答直接但含重复与不流畅的填充词（Uh, I’m trying, I used to）。建议使用更自然的表达，说明具体改变措施和效果，用连接词表示原因与结果。

範例: Yes, I do think I spend too much time online, so I have started limiting myself to two hours a day. As a result, I now spend more time exercising and reading, which makes me feel healthier.

建議: 回答不恰当且含义不清（提到“stealing”非常不合适），句子结构混乱并有重复。建议避免不当词汇，先给出直接回答然后用具体积极的替代活动和原因支持。

範例: Without the internet, I would pursue hobbies I enjoy, such as reading, exercising, or learning a musical instrument. I believe spending time on these activities would help me improve myself and feel more balanced.

× Well I start using Internet when I'm in Senior High School and that time I have my first smartphone and use the Internet to chat with my friends and do some online works.

✓ Well, I started using the Internet when I was in senior high school. At that time I got my first smartphone and used the Internet to chat with my friends and do some online work.

句中时态与时间点不一致。题问过去何时开始使用互联网，应使用一般过去时。将 start 改为 started，I'm 改为 I was，have 改为 got；online works 表达不自然，改为 online work。建议：描述过去发生的事情时统一使用过去时态，并使用常见搭配（do online work）。

× Maybe every day. I use Internet to watch TV and have a chat with my family and friends every day. That's an important part of my life.

✓ Maybe every day. I use the Internet to watch TV and chat with my family and friends every day. That's an important part of my life.

缺少定冠词 the，动词短语 have a chat 可简化为 chat 更自然。建议：固定搭配前加定冠词（use the Internet），使用更地道表达（chat）。

× Well, that may be when I was in juniors junior high school. I'm not qualified to use Internet properly, so my mother restricted time.

✓ Well, that may be when I was in junior high school. I wasn't allowed to use the Internet properly, so my mother restricted my time.

1) "juniors junior high school" 有冗余，改为 junior high school。2) 原句时态混乱：在谈过去的情况应使用过去时，"I'm not qualified" 应为 I wasn't allowed 或 I wasn't allowed to use...（中文：不被允许）。3) 缺少定冠词 the。4) "restricted time" 不完整，需加物主代词 my。建议：描述过去的限制用过去被动或过去时，并补全定冠词与物主代词。

× Uh, absolutely. I do think I used to spend too much time online and I I'm trying to, I'm trying to limit my time online and spend much more time on myself.

✓ Uh, absolutely. I think I used to spend too much time online, and now I'm trying to limit my time online and spend more time on myself.

"I do think I used to" 结构冗余且时态需区分过去习惯（used to）与现在的努力（I'm trying）。将 do think 简化为 think，补加 now 表示现在正在改变。"spend much more time on myself" 不太地道，改为 spend more time on myself。建议：用 used to 表示过去习惯，用现在进行时表示当前计划或努力，避免重复词。

× Maybe stealing really or do something I really like. I think we all should spend more time on on making ourselves more perfect.

✓ Maybe doing something I really like. I think we should all spend more time improving ourselves.

1) 开头的 Maybe stealing really 不合语法且含义不明，若想表达“做自己喜欢的事”应使用动名词短语 doing something I really like。2) "do something I really like" 应与 maybe 连接为 Maybe do → Maybe doing。3) "on on" 有重复，应为 spend time doing sth 或 spend time on something，改为 improving ourselves 更地道（避免 'more perfect' 不恰当的比较/最高级）。建议：使用动名词作补语，避免重复介词，并用合适词表达自我提升（improve/ improving）。