网络— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答时语法和表达不够自然，句子结构混乱，建议简化句子并使用更准确的表达。

範例: I started using the internet when I was about 8 years old. At that time, I used my mother's phone to play simple games online.

建議: 回答中存在语法错误和表达不清，建议使用更简洁的句子并注意时态和搭配。

範例: I go online almost every day. As a modern person, I always carry my phone and check it every one or two hours.

建議: 回答内容较完整，但表达稍显啰嗦，建议使用更自然的连接词和简洁表达。

範例: Yes, during my university entrance exam preparation, my mother didn't allow me to use my phone because she thought games would affect my grades. But now, I have full control over my phone use.

建議: 回答中有重复和语法错误，表达不够清晰，建议简化句子并使用正确的词汇搭配。

範例: Sometimes, I think I spend too much time online. For example, when preparing for my IELTS exam, I used my phone for about 5 to 6 hours a day, which was a bit excessive.

建議: 回答内容丰富，但有重复和语法错误，建议注意句子结构和避免重复表达。

範例: If I didn't have the internet, I would find other ways to enjoy myself. For example, I would hang out and have meals with my friends. Also, I might travel to new places and try outdoor activities like diving to enrich my life experience.

× I think maybe when I was 8 years old at the advancement of technology, I started to use phones of my mother and played some simple games on the phone.

✓ I think maybe when I was 8 years old, at the advancement of technology, I started to use my mother's phone and played some simple games on it.

句中“phones of my mother”表达不自然，应改为“my mother's phone”，表示所有关系。此处涉及名词所有格的正确使用，属于语法问题。

× Almost every day you as a modern people, you tend to carry your phones with you all the time and I have built the habit of checking my phones almost one to two hours once.

✓ Almost every day, as a modern person, you tend to carry your phone with you all the time, and I have built the habit of checking my phone once every one to two hours.

“people”是复数，前文指单数“you”，应使用单数“person”。“checking my phones almost one to two hours once”表达不清，应改为“checking my phone once every one to two hours”，量词和时间表达更准确。

× I think maybe during the preparation for my university entrance exams, my mother didn't allow me to play phones because she thought that the games may influence my academic grades.

✓ I think maybe during the preparation for my university entrance exams, my mother didn't allow me to play on the phone because she thought that the games might influence my academic grades.

“play phones”表达错误，应为“play on the phone”。“may”用于过去时态时应改为“might”，表示过去的可能性。

× But now, after entering the university, I totally own my phones.

✓ But now, after entering university, I totally own my phone.

“own my phones”不符合习惯表达，通常指拥有一部手机，故用单数“phone”。“entering the university”中“the”可省略，更自然。

× In in some conditions I will think I use too many too much time online.

✓ In some conditions, I think I spend too much time online.

“too many too much time”重复且用法错误，时间不可数，应使用“too much time”。

× During the preparation for my IELTS exam I watched the phones almost 5 to 6 hours a day.

✓ During the preparation for my IELTS exam, I looked at my phone for almost 5 to 6 hours a day.

“watched the phones”表达不当，应为“looked at my phone”。“watched”通常用于观看电视或电影。

× I think that's maybe a little surplus.

✓ I think that's maybe a little too much.

“a little surplus”用法不当，英语中通常用“too much”表示“过多”。

× I will find I will find another enjoyment for me.

✓ I will find another enjoyment for myself.

句子重复“I will find”，且“for me”应改为反身代词“for myself”，更符合英语习惯。

× Moreover, I will try to travel to a totally new destinations to increase the experience of my life and try outdoor activities like diving.

✓ Moreover, I will try to travel to totally new destinations to increase my life experience and try outdoor activities like diving.

“a totally new destinations”中“a”与复数“destinations”不匹配，应去掉“a”。“increase the experience of my life”表达不自然，改为“increase my life experience”更地道。