网络— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Câu trả lời của bạn hơi dài và có một số lỗi ngữ pháp cũng như cách dùng từ chưa tự nhiên. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi với câu chủ đề rõ ràng, tránh dùng từ quá phức tạp không cần thiết và giữ câu trả lời ngắn gọn, súc tích hơn.

範例: I started using the internet when I was in elementary school. My mother used it for work, and I was curious, so I played some video games on her computer.

建議: Bạn nên sử dụng câu trả lời ngắn gọn, tự nhiên hơn và tránh lỗi ngữ pháp như 'do with my homework assignment'. Hãy dùng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

範例: I usually go online every day to do my university homework and work tasks for my company.

建議: Câu trả lời của bạn khá tốt, tuy nhiên bạn có thể thêm một liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn và sử dụng từ vựng phong phú hơn để làm câu trả lời tự nhiên hơn.

範例: I can't remember a time when I wasn't allowed to use the internet because my parents have always trusted me. Since I mainly use it for research and studying, they never felt the need to restrict me.

建議: Bạn nên tránh lặp từ và sử dụng cấu trúc câu tự nhiên hơn. Ngoài ra, hãy dùng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc và chính xác hơn về ngữ pháp.

範例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online. Usually, I spend more than eight hours a day researching and studying, which is much longer than the average two hours in my country. Therefore, I hope to reduce this time.

建議: Câu trả lời của bạn khá tốt nhưng có thể tự nhiên hơn bằng cách sử dụng các cụm từ thông dụng và tránh lỗi nhỏ như 'access to the Internet'. Hãy dùng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

範例: If I couldn't access the internet, I would definitely read books or listen to music to pass the time. I might also hang out with my friends to keep in touch.

× I initially utilized the Internet when I was a little girl in the elementary school.

✓ I initially utilized the Internet when I was a little girl in elementary school.

The definite article 'the' is not used before 'elementary school' when referring to the general concept of attending school. It should be 'in elementary school' without 'the'.

× After saying my mom used the Internet to deal with her work, I was extremely curious about that, so I secretly turned on her computer and immersed myself in several video games.

✓ After seeing my mom use the Internet to deal with her work, I was extremely curious about that, so I secretly turned on her computer and immersed myself in several video games.

The phrase 'After saying my mom used the Internet' is incorrect because 'saying' does not fit the context. The correct verb is 'seeing' to indicate the student observed her mom using the Internet.

× At the present, I usually utilize the Internet and my computer on a daily basis to do with my homework assignment at the university as well as my work at my company.

✓ At present, I usually utilize the Internet and my computer on a daily basis to do my homework assignments at the university as well as my work at my company.

The phrase 'At the present' should be 'At present' without 'the'. Also, 'to do with my homework assignment' is incorrect; it should be 'to do my homework assignments'. The preposition 'with' is unnecessary here.

× I can't really remember a time when I wasn't allowed to use the Internet because my parents have always trusted me to use it responsibly.

✓ I can't really remember a time when I wasn't allowed to use the Internet because my parents always trusted me to use it responsibly.

The phrase 'have always trusted' is present perfect tense, but since the time frame is in the past (when I wasn't allowed), simple past 'always trusted' fits better for consistency.

× Absolutely yes, I I reckon that I have spent too much time to go online.

✓ Absolutely yes, I reckon that I have spent too much time online.

The phrase 'too much time to go online' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'too much time online'. Also, the repeated 'I' is a typo and should be removed.

× I usually spend 8 hours or more on a daily basis to research information and study online, which is much excessive than the normal utilizing time in my country at two hours.

✓ I usually spend 8 hours or more on a daily basis researching information and studying online, which is much more than the normal usage time in my country of two hours.

The phrase 'much excessive than' is incorrect. The correct comparative form is 'much more than'. Also, 'utilizing time' is awkward; 'usage time' is better. 'To research' should be 'researching' to match the sentence structure.

× So I hope that I will reduce this amount of time.

✓ So I hope that I will reduce this amount of time.

This sentence is correct in grammar and tense; no correction needed.

× If I cannot access to the Internet, I would definitely read books or listen to music to kill my time.

✓ If I cannot access the Internet, I would definitely read books or listen to music to kill my time.

The verb 'access' does not require the preposition 'to'. The correct phrase is 'access the Internet'.

× Or I just hang out with my friends in order to maintain a relationship.

✓ Or I just hang out with my friends in order to maintain relationships.

The phrase 'maintain a relationship' is singular and vague. Since 'friends' is plural, it is better to use the plural 'relationships' to indicate maintaining multiple friendships.