网络— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 你的回答有点冗长且有语法错误。建议简洁明了地回答问题，避免重复表达，并注意时态和语法的正确使用。

範例: I started using the internet when I was seven years old, after my parents bought our first computer. Since then, I enjoyed playing computer games online.

建議: 回答内容较好，但句子连接不够自然，且有语法错误。建议使用连接词使句子更流畅，并注意单复数和时态的正确使用。

範例: Nowadays, I go online every day to keep in touch with my family and friends. Additionally, I search for information online, which helps me a lot and broadens my horizons.

建議: 回答中有语法错误和表达不清晰的问题。建议简洁表达，注意时态一致，并避免重复。

範例: When I was about 11, I wanted to play computer games, but my mother didn't allow me. So I went to an internet cafe nearby, but she found out and stopped me.

建議: 回答中有语法错误，词汇使用不准确。建议使用更准确的词汇表达观点，并注意语法结构的正确性。

範例: Yes, I think I spend too much of my free time online, which is unhealthy. Instead of exercising or doing productive activities, I often waste time on uninteresting things.

建議: 回答不够连贯，表达含糊。建议组织语言更清晰，避免口头语，并用连词使句子流畅。

範例: Without the internet, I would spend my time reading and dancing alone. I believe life would be more meaningful because I could focus on many valuable activities instead of wasting time online.

× we started to get in touch with the Internet and played computer games all days and nights.

✓ we started to get in touch with the Internet and played computer games all day and night.

The phrase 'all days and nights' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'all day and night' to indicate continuous time without breaks.

× Nowadays I go online everyday, I use Internet to get in touch with my family and friends and I also search information through the Internet.

✓ Nowadays I go online every day, I use the Internet to get in touch with my family and friends and I also search for information through the Internet.

The word 'everyday' is an adjective meaning common or normal, while 'every day' means each day. Also, 'Internet' needs the definite article 'the' and 'search information' should be 'search for information'.

× When I was about 11 years old, I want to I wanted to play computer games, but my mother didn't allow me to do that.

✓ When I was about 11 years old, I wanted to play computer games, but my mother didn't allow me to do that.

The phrase 'I want to I wanted to' contains a present tense verb 'want' which is incorrect in past context. It should be 'wanted' to match the past tense narrative.

× So I went to a Internet bar near my neighborhood and I was caught by my mother.

✓ So I went to an Internet bar near my neighborhood and I was caught by my mother.

The article 'a' should be 'an' before a vowel sound like 'Internet'.

× Yes, I have to say I spend too much of my spare time online and it's not a health habit because I use this time to do some boring and unviable things instead of doing some exercises and create values.

✓ Yes, I have to say I spend too much of my spare time online and it's not a healthy habit because I use this time to do some boring and unviable things instead of doing some exercises and creating value.

The word 'health' should be the adjective 'healthy' to describe 'habit'. Also, 'create values' should be 'creating value' to maintain parallel structure and correct noun usage.

× I usually read and dance, enjoying the, uh, the time I alone, I stay alone.

✓ I usually read and dance, enjoying the time I spend alone.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'The time I alone, I stay alone' is incorrect structure. It should be 'the time I spend alone' for clarity and correctness.

× And I think if you don't use your Internet, your life will be more valuable and you can do a lot of things.

✓ And I think if you don't use the Internet, your life will be more valuable and you can do a lot of things.

The phrase 'your Internet' is incorrect; 'the Internet' is the correct form as it is a unique entity and does not belong to the person.

× But if you use the Internet, time goes.

✓ But if you use the Internet, time passes quickly.

The phrase 'time goes' is incomplete and unnatural. The correct expression is 'time passes quickly' to convey the intended meaning.