分享— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make the response more natural and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repeating words, and add one brief specific example to support your point. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes. My parents always taught me that "sharing is caring," so they encouraged me to give toys or snacks to friends to build stronger friendships. For example, my mother would ask me to share my toys during playdates to help me make friends.

建議: Be concise and avoid fillers (uh, umm). Use a clear topic sentence and one specific reason or short example. Combine sentences to remove redundancy.

範例: I usually like to share food and meals with friends and family because eating together creates a friendly atmosphere. I rarely share money, but I would help someone in real need, such as lending cash to a classmate who missed the bus.

建議: Correct grammar and avoid culturally unclear expressions without explanation. State the main idea in one sentence and give a concise reason. If mentioning beliefs, phrase them clearly as opinions or traditions.

範例: I avoid sharing personal clothing because I prefer hygiene and personal comfort. In my family there is also a belief that sharing clothes may bring bad luck, so I rarely borrow or lend garments.

建議: This answer is good but can be slightly improved by adding one brief detail about the sweets to make it more vivid. Keep it to one or two sentences.

範例: Yes. I brought back famous sweets from my vacation in Manali and shared them with my neighbors and family, including some walnut-based mithai that everyone enjoyed.

建議: Remove fillers and correct small grammatical mistakes. Give one short reason why you choose your mother to add depth. Keep within 2–3 sentences.

範例: My mother is the first person I tell because she always supports and advises me. I share everything with her, so she naturally hears my good news first.

建議: Avoid repetition and improve grammar. Start with a topic sentence about the type of news, then give one or two specific examples. Use linking words sparingly and correctly.

範例: I share personal and everyday news with a few close friends, such as changes in my study schedule or new projects I'm working on. For example, I tell them about my daily routine, upcoming exams, or interesting events I attended.

× Yes, my parents often teach to me that sharing is caring.

✓ Yes, my parents often taught me that sharing is caring.

The student uses 'often teach to me' which is incorrect: 'teach' should be past tense 'taught' because the question refers to childhood (past). Also 'teach to me' is wrong word order and unnecessary 'to'. Use 'taught me'.

× They often tell me to share the things I have with my friends and others as it will help to enhance bonds and show good manners.

✓ They often told me to share the things I had with my friends and others because it would help strengthen bonds and show good manners.

Context is past (childhood), so verbs should be past tense ('told', 'had', 'would'). 'Enhance bonds' is awkward; 'strengthen bonds' is more natural. Use 'because' instead of 'as' for clarity.

× I like to share things that bring people together, such as food or, uh, meals with my friends or family.

✓ I like to share things that bring people together, such as food or meals with my friends or family.

This sentence is generally correct, but remove filler 'uh' and the extra comma around 'uh' for fluency. No tense change needed.

× Umm, Although I am less likely to share my money with anyone, but if the person is in need, I may share that too.

✓ Although I am less likely to share my money with anyone, if a person is in need I may share it.

Do not use both 'Although' and 'but' together - redundant conjunctions. Use 'Although' or 'If' appropriately. 'That' referring to money is awkward; use 'it'. Remove filler 'Umm'.

× My mother often says that we should not share our clothes with anyone because it will transfer the fortune to other person.

✓ My mother often says that we should not share our clothes with anyone because it will transfer the fortune to another person.

Use 'another person' not 'other person'. 'It will transfer the fortune' is awkward but acceptable; consider 'it will transfer our good fortune to another person' for clarity.

× So I don't like sharing my clothes with anyone neither I take any clothes from any person.

✓ So I don't like sharing my clothes with anyone, nor do I take clothes from other people.

Use 'nor' for negative addition, and invert auxiliary 'do' for emphasis: 'nor do I take'. 'Any person' is awkward; use 'other people'.

× Yes, I recently had my vacation in Manali and from there I bought its famous sweets which I shared among my neighbors and my family.

✓ Yes, I recently went on vacation to Manali, and I bought its famous sweets there, which I shared with my neighbors and family.

Use 'went on vacation to' rather than 'had my vacation in'. 'From there I bought' is awkward; 'I bought there' or 'I bought its famous sweets there'. Use 'shared with' not 'shared among' for neighbors and family.

× The first person is my mother.

✓ The first person I would tell is my mother.

Original is grammatically simple but unnatural as an answer. Make it explicit: 'first person I would tell' fits the question. Maintains tense and meaning.

× Uh, whenever there is any news or any umm, new things happening in my life, she's the first person I contact to you.

✓ Whenever there is any news or new things happening in my life, she's the first person I contact.

Remove filler words. 'Contact to you' is ungrammatical; 'contact' does not take 'to' here. Also 'contact' can be used, or better 'tell'.

× I share each and everything with her.

✓ I share everything with her.

'Each and everything' is redundant and informal; 'everything' suffices. Keep present tense as relationship is ongoing.

× I have few close friends that I disclose my private life with.

✓ I have a few close friends with whom I share my private life.

Use 'a few' not 'few' (means different). Use 'with whom' for formality and correct pronoun placement; 'share my private life' is more natural than 'disclose my private life with'.

× They know each and everything about my life.

✓ They know everything about my life.

'Each and everything' is redundant; 'everything' is correct. Keep present tense.

× We often keep on sharing our day-to-day experiences and anything new that happens and for example I always share my daily routines and any new updates to my close friend.

✓ We often share our day-to-day experiences and anything new that happens; for example, I always tell my close friends about my daily routines and any new updates.

Remove redundant 'keep on'. Use semicolon or sentence break. 'Share... to my close friend' is wrong: use 'tell... to my close friends' or 'share... with my close friends'. Plural 'friends' to match earlier 'few close friends'. 'For example' should be set off by commas.