自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct, correct grammar, and keep it concise (max 5 sentences). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense mistakes (use past tense for childhood), fix word choice (bike, not back), and avoid filler words. For example, say you received a pink bike at 13, how you felt about it, and what happened to it — in two or three coherent sentences.

範例: Yes. I had a bright pink bike that my parents gave me when I was 13, and I loved riding it around my neighborhood. However, after about two years I lost it when it was stolen, which was very upsetting at the time.

建議: Use correct time expressions and clearer comparisons, and include specific reasons or examples. Begin with a topic sentence answering the question, then add a linked supporting detail (use linking words like 'however' or 'nowadays') and a reason or example. Correct grammar: say 'ten years ago' or 'in the past' and 'there is less demand' or 'they are less popular now'.

範例: Yes, bikes used to be very popular in my country ten years ago because many people used them for short trips. However, nowadays we have more shared bikes and motorbikes, so private bike ownership is less common than before.

× I have a very pink back when I was young that was a gift from my parents they gave to me when I was 13 years old.

✓ I had a very pink bike when I was young; it was a gift from my parents when I was 13 years old.

The sentence mixes tenses and has word choice and article issues. 'Back' is incorrect; it should be 'bike' (vocabulary). The main clause refers to a past situation, so use past tense 'had' instead of 'have'. Also run-on sentence: split into two clauses with a semicolon or period and remove redundant 'they gave to me'. Suggestion: use correct noun 'bike', past tense 'had', and concise clause 'it was a gift from my parents when I was 13.'

× Uh, However, even though after two years I lost it.

✓ However, after two years I lost it.

The phrase contains redundant connectors 'even though' and 'after' which together create a sentence-level error. 'Uh' is filler and can be omitted in writing. Use simple past 'lost' is correct, but remove 'even though' which introduces a subordinate clause without completion. Suggestion: write 'However, after two years I lost it.'

× In 10 years ago, bikes were very popular transportation in my country.

✓ Ten years ago, bikes were a very popular means of transportation in my country.

Using 'In 10 years ago' is ungrammatical: use 'Ten years ago' for a past time expression. 'Were' is correct past tense, but the noun phrase needs an article 'a' and clearer wording: 'a very popular means of transportation'. Suggestion: use 'Ten years ago' and correct noun phrase.

× However, in recent days we also have the shared bikes, but it's not as huge demands as in the past.

✓ However, recently we also have shared bikes, but the demand is not as great as in the past.

'In recent days' is awkward; use 'recently'. 'The shared bikes' is better as 'shared bikes' (no article). 'It's not as huge demands' is ungrammatical: 'demand' is an uncountable noun here and requires singular form and appropriate adjective: 'the demand is not as great as in the past.' Suggestion: use 'recently', remove unnecessary articles, and change 'huge demands' to 'the demand is not as great.'