自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise, use correct grammar and clearer linking words. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Correct tense and preposition errors (e.g., “I didn’t have a bike” not “any bike”, “at first” instead of “in the starting”, “got used to it” not “get used to of that”). Use a linking phrase like “However” or “At first” to connect ideas.

範例: I didn’t have my own bike as a child, but I often used my older brother’s, which was quite heavy. At first I found it difficult to ride because of its weight, however after a few weeks I got used to it and became more confident.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence, then give specific reasons and use linking words for coherence. Correct vocabulary and grammar: use “plain area” not “plane”, and complete the comparison (e.g., “where roads are steep or unsuitable for bikes”). Add a brief example or statistic if possible. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially in the Punjab plain where roads are flat and travel distances are short. In contrast, fewer people ride bikes in the northern, hilly regions because steep or uneven roads make cycling difficult.

× Well, when I was a child then at that time I didn't have any bike, but I was using my brother's bike and that was a heavy one.

✓ Well, when I was a child I didn't have a bike, but I used my brother's bike, and it was heavy.

The original mixes past simple and past continuous incorrectly and has redundancy ('then at that time'). Use past simple for states/habits in the past: 'I didn't have' and 'I used'. 'Was using' suggests an ongoing action but the context describes a habitual past action, so past simple is more appropriate. Remove redundant phrases to improve clarity.

× In the starting I had difficulty to ride that bike, but with the passage of time I get used to of that.

✓ At the beginning I had difficulty riding that bike, but with the passage of time I got used to it.

Several tense and form errors: 'In the starting' is incorrect — use 'At the beginning'. 'Had difficulty to ride' should be 'had difficulty riding' (verb + -ing after 'difficulty'). 'I get used to of that' mixes present tense and incorrect preposition; it should be past tense 'I got used to it' and use 'to' plus object 'it'.

× Well in my country the bikes are very popular especially in the Punjab area because this is the plane area and most of the people prefer to ride bikes rather than the northern areas or the hilly areas where the roads are not.

✓ Well, in my country bikes are very popular, especially in the Punjab area, because this is the plain area and most people prefer to ride bikes rather than in the northern or hilly areas where the roads are not suitable.

Preposition and word choice issues: 'in my country the bikes' needs commas and 'the' is unnecessary before 'bikes' here. 'Plane area' is a typo for 'plain area'. The comparison 'prefer to ride bikes rather than the northern areas' is incorrect; include 'in' before locations: 'rather than in the northern or hilly areas'. The clause 'where the roads are not' is incomplete; add an adjective like 'suitable' to complete the idea.