自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, correct small grammar errors, avoid redundant or awkward words (e.g., “bombastic”), and limit to around 2–3 sentences. Use a linking phrase to add a specific detail (when, who, how you felt).

範例: Yes. My grandmother gave me a small red bike for my fourth birthday, and I remember being thrilled. A few weeks later I learned to ride it on our street, which made me feel very independent.

建議: Make the answer more natural and specific: open with a clear opinion, use correct collocations (e.g., “time-saving”, “cost-effective”, “office workers”), fix unclear phrases (“peak hours”), and add a brief example or reason with a linking word. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular. They are time-saving and cost-effective for many people; for example, students and office workers often cycle to avoid heavy traffic during peak hours.

× Yes, I had a bike in my childhood that was gifted by my grandmother on my 4th birthday.

✓ Yes, I had a bike in my childhood that my grandmother gifted me on my 4th birthday.

The original sentence uses a correct past tense but the passive phrasing 'that was gifted by my grandmother' is wordy. Reordering to 'that my grandmother gifted me' is more natural in English and keeps past tense consistency. Also placing the recipient 'me' after 'gifted' clarifies meaning. Suggestion: use active past simple ('gifted') with the recipient after the verb for clarity.

× I vividly remember that I was so excited and bombastic about that I could drive a bicycle with on my own.

✓ I vividly remember that I was so excited and overjoyed that I could ride a bicycle on my own.

Multiple issues: 'bombastic' is incorrect in this context (it means pompous or overblown). 'Drive a bicycle' is not idiomatic; use 'ride a bicycle'. The phrase 'with on my own' is ungrammatical; 'on my own' suffices. Also 'so excited and overjoyed that I could' is the correct construction. Suggestion: choose appropriate adjectives ('excited', 'overjoyed') and use 'ride' + 'on my own'.

× In my opinion, bicycles are very popular in my country as it's not only time saving but also cost effective.

✓ In my opinion, bicycles are very popular in my country because they are not only time-saving but also cost-effective.

Subject reference: 'it' should be 'they' to refer to 'bicycles' (plural). Adjectives 'time saving' and 'cost effective' need hyphens when used as compound modifiers before a noun or linked with 'be' in this context; 'time-saving' and 'cost-effective' are standard. Also 'because' is a clearer conjunction than 'as' in conversational responses. Suggestion: ensure pronoun agrees with plural noun and hyphenate compound adjectives.

× It is very helpful for office persons and students who avoid large heavy traffic in the peak arts.

✓ They are very helpful for office workers and students who want to avoid heavy traffic during peak hours.

Several issues: 'office persons' is unnatural; use 'office workers'. 'Large heavy traffic' is redundant; use 'heavy traffic'. 'Peak arts' is incorrect; intended phrase is 'peak hours'. Also the subject should be 'They' referring to 'bicycles'. 'Who want to avoid' expresses purpose better than 'who avoid'. Suggestion: use natural collocations ('office workers', 'peak hours') and correct verb choice for intended meaning.