自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and avoid fillers (e.g., “umm”, repeated words). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. Keep it within five sentences and use precise vocabulary (e.g., “shared”, “helped me learn”).

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, but we shared it with my sister. Because I was smaller, she usually rode first and then gave me rides around the neighborhood, which helped me feel included. Those shared rides are some of my fondest childhood memories.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence, then support it with specific reasons and an example. Use linking words (e.g., “however”, “for example”) and avoid repeating words like “definitely”. Watch grammar (its → it's or its popularity).

範例: I think bikes used to be very popular, but their use has declined in recent years. For example, as cars and public transport became more affordable and convenient, many families switched to those options; however, cycling remains common in some cities for short commutes and leisure.

× Well, I sure did umm, but it definitely wasn't my bike because I was too small of a child to ride it.

✓ Well, I sure did, umm, but it definitely wasn't my bike because I was too young to ride it.

Using 'too small of a child' is an informal and awkward construction; 'too young' is the correct adjective to describe age-related inability. Replace the pronoun/phrase with 'too young' for natural, grammatical English. Also add a comma after 'did' for clarity.

× So most of the time it was my sister who rode the bike around the neighborhood.

✓ So, most of the time my sister rode the bike around the neighborhood.

The original word order 'it was my sister who rode...' is grammatical but wordy here. Simplifying to 'my sister rode' improves clarity and flow. This is a sentence structure improvement rather than a strict grammatical error.

× But nevertheless, she always gave me a ride, so I was happy with it.

✓ Nevertheless, she always gave me rides, so I was happy.

'But nevertheless' is redundant; choose one connective such as 'nevertheless.' 'Gave me a ride' suggests a single occasion; plural 'rides' fits 'most of the time.' Removing 'with it' avoids redundancy. The correction improves cohesion and natural usage.

× There were there were good times.

✓ There were good times.

The phrase repeats 'there were' twice, which is a simple repetition error. Remove the duplicate to form a correct sentence.

× It definitely was back then because it was a more affordable option rather than cars, but now that a lot of people are getting different modes of transportation other than bikes, I definitely think its popularity has decreased over the years.

✓ Bikes definitely were more popular back then because they were a more affordable option than cars, but now that many people use different modes of transportation, I think their popularity has decreased over the years.

Multiple issues: tense consistency and agreement. Use 'were more popular' to compare past popularity; 'a more affordable option than cars' is the correct comparative structure (use 'than' not 'rather than'). 'A lot of people are getting different modes' is awkward—use 'many people use different modes.' 'Its popularity' is incorrect because 'bikes' is plural; use 'their popularity' to match plural noun. These changes correct tense, comparison, preposition use, and pronoun agreement.