自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve naturalness and conciseness: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct minor grammar and punctuation (e.g., "friends' attention"), and add a brief specific detail using a linking word. Keep to under five sentences.

範例: Yes — I did. It was a small red bike covered with cartoon stickers that always attracted my friends' attention. For example, I would ride it every afternoon around the park, practicing turns and racing with neighbors.

建議: Provide a concise direct answer, use linking words, avoid repetition, and give one clear specific reason or example. Correct phrasing (e.g., "there have also been" and "a lack of safe cycling infrastructure").

範例: Not really. I don't think bikes are popular because there is a lack of safe cycling infrastructure; for instance, many main roads have no bike lanes, which has led to frequent accidents and discouraged people from cycling.

× I used to use my bike while cycling around my neighborhood.

✓ I used to ride my bike around my neighborhood.

The phrase 'use my bike while cycling' is redundant and awkward. 'Use' followed by 'while cycling' mixes verbs unnecessarily. Prefer 'ride my bike' to express the activity clearly. Also 'while' is unnecessary when a single verb suffices: 'I used to ride my bike around my neighborhood.' This corrects verb choice and concision. Suggested improvement: replace redundant verb constructions with a single appropriate verb ('ride').

× It had stickers on it and it had always attracted my friends attention.

✓ It had stickers on it, and it always attracted my friends' attention.

The original mixes past perfect 'had always attracted' with simple past context 'I had a bike when I was a child.' Simple past ('attracted') is appropriate here because you are describing habitual past events. Also possessive should be friends' (plural possessive) and a comma before 'and' improves clarity. Suggested improvement: use simple past for past habitual actions and mark plural possession correctly.

× Unfortunately not.

✓ Unfortunately, no.

While not strictly grammatical, 'Unfortunately not.' is colloquial; 'Unfortunately, no.' is a clearer and more natural response. Add a comma after 'Unfortunately' and use 'no' for a succinct negative answer.

× This is because we do not have suitable roads for bike riders to use safely and there have been also many accidents caused by lack of suitable roads for bikes.

✓ This is because we do not have suitable roads for bike riders to use safely, and there have also been many accidents caused by the lack of suitable roads for bikes.

Problems: word order 'there have been also' is awkward; place 'also' before the main verb 'been' or after subject 'there'. Add the definite article 'the' before 'lack' because a specific lack is referenced. Use a comma before 'and' to join clauses. Suggested improvement: place adverbs correctly ('there have also been') and include 'the' when referring to a specific situation ('the lack').