自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장 구조와 어휘 사용을 더 자연스럽고 정확하게 고치세요. 예를 들어 ‘I started bike with four wheels’는 어색합니다. 주제문을 명확히 하고, 연결어를 사용하여 경험의 흐름을 자연스럽게 만드세요. 또한 시제와 관사 사용을 점검하세요 (a bike, four-wheel bike 등). 문장 수는 2~4문장으로 유지하세요.

範例: Yes, I did. I had a small four-wheel bike when I was very young, and as I got older I switched to a two-wheel bicycle. It helped me gain confidence and balance, and I used my bike to ride around the neighborhood every day.

建議: 사실을 정확히 표현하고 불필요한 반복을 제거하세요. ‘1001 per per an hour’ 같은 표현은 의미 전달이 불분명합니다. 구체적 예(공유자전거 시스템, 자전거 거치대 등)와 이유(교통, 환경, 편리성)를 연결어로 설명하면 더 설득력 있습니다. 문장은 2~4문장으로 간결하게 유지하세요.

範例: Yes, I think they are quite popular in South Korea. Many cities have bike-sharing systems and plenty of parking stations, which makes cycling a convenient option for short trips. Also, people often choose bikes to avoid traffic and reduce travel expenses.

× I started bike with four wheels and then when I grew up I changed the bike with two wheels.

✓ I started riding a bike with four wheels, and then when I grew up I switched to a bike with two wheels.

The verb 'start' when followed by an action should use the gerund form 'riding' (Grammar Problem Type ID 8). Additionally, 'started bike' is missing the verb and article; use 'riding a bike'. 'Changed the bike with two wheels' is awkward: use 'switched to a bike with two wheels'. Use of commas improves sentence flow. Grammar Problem Type ID: 8.

× there is a system that we can use to park 1001 per per an hour and many people use this bike.

✓ there is a system that lets us park 1001 bikes per hour, and many people use these bikes.

The original sentence misuses 'per' twice and lacks the noun for the quantity; it also uses singular 'this bike' when referring to many bikes. Correct by specifying '1001 bikes per hour' and plural 'these bikes' (Grammar Problem Type ID 14). Ensure plural agreement with 'many people'. Grammar Problem Type ID: 14.

× I think bikes are popular in my country because I live in South Korea and there is a system that we can use to park 1001 per per an hour and many people use this bike.

✓ I think bikes are popular in my country because I live in South Korea and there is a system that lets us park 1001 bikes per hour, and many people use these bikes.

The phrase 'this bike' incorrectly refers back to 'bikes' (plural). Use 'these bikes' for plural reference (Grammar Problem Type ID 12). Also replace 'we can use to park' with smoother 'lets us park'. Grammar Problem Type ID: 12.