自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and use past tense consistently; avoid repetition and unfinished phrases. Give a clear topic sentence, one or two specific supporting details (when, who, how you learned), use linking words to connect ideas, and keep it to no more than five sentences. Also replace informal contractions like 'wanna' with 'wanted to' in formal test context and correct grammar (e.g. 'I remembered' → 'I remember' or better 'I had a bike'/'I remember when I was around nine').

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My mother bought it for me when I was about nine, and I was very excited but nervous at first. After a few falls, I practiced every afternoon and quickly improved. By the end of the summer I could ride confidently around my neighborhood.

建議: Start with a clear direct response and avoid awkward phrasing. Keep sentences concise and use linking words (for example, 'especially' and 'for instance') correctly. Provide one or two specific examples or reasons why bikes are popular (cost, convenience, traffic) and finish your sentence—avoid trailing off. Use plural agreement ('they are') and more precise vocabulary ('universities'→'university students').

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. In my hometown they are a common and convenient way to travel short distances, especially in the city where traffic is heavy. For example, many university students and office workers cycle to campus or work because it is cheap and faster than buses during rush hour.

× Oh yes, I do.

✓ Oh yes, I did.

The question asks about having a bike when you were a child (past time frame), so the student should use past tense. 'Do' is present tense; 'did' correctly matches the past context. Suggestion: Use past tense verbs when referring to past events (e.g., 'I did', 'I had').

× I remembered when I was around 9 years old, my mother brought the bike home and I was so excited to use it.

✓ I remember when I was around nine years old; my mother brought the bike home and I was so excited to use it.

The sentence begins with 'I remembered', a past tense verb that makes the sequence awkward because the rest correctly uses simple past. Native speakers typically use simple present 'I remember' when narrating a memory, or use consistent simple past throughout. Using 'I remember' plus past events is natural. Also spell out 'nine' in formal speech is optional; main change is tense consistency. Suggestion: Use 'I remember' to introduce a memory, or keep all verbs in simple past consistently ('I remembered... and I was...').

× So it was a bit scary at first, but I was so I was so excited to do it.

✓ So it was a bit scary at first, but I was very excited to try it.

The original repeats 'I was so' and uses awkward 'to do it'. This is a sentence structure and redundancy error. 'Try it' or 'learn to ride it' is clearer. Also 'very' or 'so' should appear once. Suggestion: Avoid repetition and choose the correct verb collocation ('try it', 'learn to ride it').

× I wanna learn it so how many times I failed but.

✓ I wanted to learn to ride it, so I kept trying despite failing many times.

This fragment uses informal 'wanna', incorrect infinitive 'learn it' and an incomplete clause 'so how many times I failed but'. It's a run-on/incomplete sentence. Converting to past tense 'wanted' and using the correct verb pattern 'learn to ride' or 'learn to ride it' and restructuring gives a complete coherent sentence. Suggestion: Use polite/formal forms ('wanted' not 'wanna'), correct verb patterns ('learn to ride'), and complete clauses ('despite failing many times' or 'but I kept trying').

× Indeed, it is quite popular in our country.

✓ Indeed, they are quite popular in our country.

The student refers to 'bikes' (plural) in the question, but uses singular 'it'. This is a subject-number mismatch. Use plural pronoun 'they' to match 'bikes'. Suggestion: Ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents ('bikes' -> 'they').

× In my hometown it is usually the most common type of transportation, especially within the city, and many kids or I should say college students in the universities use it as their means of transportation, going to the school and.

✓ In my hometown, bikes are usually the most common form of transportation, especially within the city, and many kids, or rather college students at university, use them to get to school.

Multiple issues: pronoun/number agreement ('it' should be 'bikes'/'they'/'them'), article and noun choice ('type of transportation' -> 'form of transportation' is more natural), redundant phrasing ('in the universities' -> 'at university'), and the sentence was incomplete ('going to the school and' is unfinished). The correction fixes number agreement, articles, and completes the idea. Suggestion: Use plural forms and natural collocations ('form of transportation', 'at university', 'use them to get to school').