自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct minor errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (uh, umm) and incorrect words ("write" → "ride").

範例: Yes, I had a bike as a child. My parents gave it to me for my birthday, and I was very excited, but after a few attempts I stopped trying to ride it because I kept falling. Later, a neighbor taught me for an hour and I finally learned.

建議: Give a direct opinion first, then support it with specific reasons and a linking word. Remove fillers and repetitions, and use clearer vocabulary (e.g., "infrastructure", "safety").

範例: Not really. Bicycles are not very popular because our cities lack dedicated cycle lanes and traffic rules to protect cyclists, so many people consider riding unsafe. If the government improved infrastructure, more people would probably cycle.

× I did have a bike when I was a child but at first I didn't know how to ride it.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child, but at first I didn't know how to ride it.

Using 'did have' is grammatically possible for emphasis, but in a simple answer it is unnecessary and sounds awkward. Use the simple past 'had' to match the past-time context and natural spoken English. Suggestion: use simple past for past states unless you intend contrastive emphasis.

× Umm I got it on my birthday as a present from my parents and I was really excited but after giving a few tries I stopped attempting to write it because I fell every time.

✓ I got it on my birthday as a present from my parents and I was really excited, but after a few tries I stopped attempting to ride it because I fell every time.

Errors: 'after giving a few tries' is unnatural; use 'after a few tries'. 'Attempting to write it' is a word choice error—'ride' is correct for a bike. The sentence uses past tense, so keep verbs in simple past: 'stopped attempting' is acceptable but 'stopped trying to ride it' is more natural. Suggestion: use correct collocations ('a few tries', 'try/ride') and keep consistent past tense.

× Bikes are not quite, uh, popular in our country as umm, you know, like there isn't where there aren't proper rules or separate lanes for the cyclists.

✓ Bikes are not very popular in our country because there are not proper rules or separate lanes for cyclists.

Problems: 'not quite popular' is colloquial and awkward here; 'not very popular' is clearer. The clause 'there isn't where there aren't' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use 'because there are not proper rules or separate lanes for cyclists.' Also use plural agreement 'there are not' with plural 'rules/lanes'. Suggestion: simplify the causal clause and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× So people avoid, avoid it, avoid riding it as the chance of accident is more.

✓ So people avoid riding bikes because the chance of accidents is higher.

Problems: Repetition 'avoid, avoid it' is disfluent and unnecessary. 'Avoid riding it' is redundant with 'it'—use 'riding bikes' or 'riding them'. 'The chance of accident is more' is ungrammatical; use comparative 'the chance of accidents is higher' or 'there is a greater chance of an accident.' Suggestion: remove repetition, use plural 'accidents' and comparative 'higher' or 'greater' for clarity.