自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장 구조와 어휘 사용이 자연스럽지 않고 몇몇 표현은 의미 전달이 불명확합니다. 답변을 더 간결하고 정확하게 구성하세요. 먼저 주제 문장으로 바로 응답한 후, 시기(나이), 활동(연습한 것), 감정(어땠는지)를 순서대로 구체적으로 덧붙이세요. 또한 'used to'는 과거의 습관을 표현하므로 적절하지만, 'take a bike and two wheels' 같은 표현은 부자연스럽습니다. 자전거 이름을 말할 때는 'called' 뒤에 정확한 이름을 연결하고 관사를 확인하세요. 연결어(for example, when, because)를 사용해 문장 흐름을 매끄럽게 하세요.

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I got it in first grade and practiced balancing on two wheels every day. Because I loved riding, I spent hours cycling around the neighborhood with my friends. My bike had a funny name – we called it "Darling" – and it made those days even more enjoyable.

建議: 내용이 비교적 명확하지만 발음 표기(명칭)와 문장 연결에 혼란이 있습니다. 주제 문장으로 간단히 의견을 밝히고, 이유를 2-3개의 구체적 근거(공공 대여 시스템, 저렴한 비용, 접근성)를 논리적으로 제시하세요. 연결어(for example, because, therefore)를 사용해 문장을 자연스럽게 이어주고, 'costs very less' 같은 비문은 'is very cheap' 또는 'costs very little'로 고치세요. 공공 대여 시스템 이름이 익숙하지 않으면 일반 명칭으로 표현하세요.

範例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, many cities operate public bike-share systems that are available at numerous stations. Because renting a bike is very cheap and convenient, lots of people use them for short trips and commuting.

× Actually when I was elementary first grade, I used to practice how to take a bike and two wheels and it was very fun.

✓ Actually, when I was in the first grade of elementary school, I used to practice how to ride a bike with two wheels and it was very fun.

The phrase 'practice how to take a bike' is incorrect; 'ride' is the correct verb for using a bike. 'Two wheels' should modify bike as 'a bike with two wheels'. Also add the preposition 'in' before 'the first grade' and reorder 'elementary first grade' to the natural phrase 'the first grade of elementary school'. These changes improve verb choice, preposition use, and word order. Suggestion: Replace 'take a bike' with 'ride a bike', add 'in' before grade, and use 'a bike with two wheels'.

× Also, I used to ride a bike which called Darling and Soil.

✓ Also, I used to ride a bike that was called Darling and Soil.

Use 'that' or 'which' with a relative clause including a verb; in this sentence the verb 'was' is missing. The phrase 'which called Darling and Soil' lacks the passive or active verb. Adding 'was' makes it a correct relative clause: 'a bike that was called...'. Suggestion: Use 'that was called' or 'which was called' to form a complete relative clause.

× Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country especially, so there is a public bike rent system which is called Cold Darren E and you can take bike almost everywhere and it costs very less so many people use it.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country, especially because there is a public bike rental system called Cold Darren E; you can take a bike almost anywhere and it costs very little, so many people use it.

Multiple issues: 'bike rent system' is nonstandard; 'bike rental system' is correct (noun form). 'Take bike' lacks an article: use 'take a bike'. 'Almost everywhere' is preferred over 'almost everywhere' (kept). 'It costs very less' is ungrammatical; use 'it costs very little'. Also add punctuation and a conjunction to connect clauses logically. Suggestion: Use 'bike rental system', 'take a bike', and 'costs very little' for correct noun forms, articles, and quantifier usage.