自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장 구조를 더 자연스럽게 하고 불필요한 반복을 줄이세요. 예를 들어, ‘I did have’ 대신 간단한 ‘Yes, I did’ 또는 ‘Yes, I had’를 사용하고, ‘A4 wheeled’와 ‘A2 wheeled’처럼 익숙하지 않은 표현은 ‘four-wheeled’나 ‘two-wheeled’처럼 명확한 단어로 고쳐야 합니다. 또한 이유나 경험을 하나 정도 덧붙여 문장을 2~3문장으로 구성하면 더 풍부해 보입니다. 예: 과도한 세부 묘사 대신 언제, 누구와 탔는지 또는 왜 바꿨는지 간단히 설명하세요.

範例: Yes, I had a bike as a child. At first I rode a four-wheeled training bike, but after a few months I switched to a two-wheeled bicycle because I wanted to learn to balance on my own.

建議: 더 구조화된 답변을 위해 주제 문장 후에 이유와 구체적 예시를 연결어로 명확히 제시하세요. 'There's actually electrical bikes...'에서 문법(‘electric bikes’)과 표현(‘you need a driver's license’)을 정확히 고치고, 연결사(e.g., 'for example', 'also')를 사용해 문장을 자연스럽게 이어가세요. 또한 숫자나 구체적 장소(도시 이름, 학교 등)를 하나 덧붙이면 설득력이 높아집니다.

範例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, many cities offer electric bike rentals that require a driver's license, and a lot of students also cycle to school because it's cheap and convenient.

× When I was a child I used to ride A4 wheeled bike, but then after a few months I used A2 wheeled bike.

✓ When I was a child I used to ride a 4-wheeled bike, but after a few months I used a 2-wheeled bike.

The original sentence uses number labels with letters (A4, A2) which is unclear; the main issue is not -ing but adjective form for '4-wheeled' and '2-wheeled' which should use hyphenated compound adjectives before a noun. Also omit redundant 'then' after 'but'. Suggestion: use '4-wheeled' and '2-wheeled' as compound adjectives and write numbers clearly.

× There's actually electrical bikes that can be used for rental and all you need is like a driver's license.

✓ There are actually electric bikes that can be rented, and all you need is a driver's license.

Use 'there are' for plural countable noun 'bikes' (There be issue and article error). 'Electrical' is incorrect adjective form; use 'electric'. 'Used for rental' is awkward; 'rented' is natural. Remove filler 'like'. Also maintain plural agreement: 'are' with 'bikes'.

× And there's a lot of students who ride a bike when they go to school.

✓ And there are a lot of students who ride bikes when they go to school.

Use 'there are' for plural 'students'. Avoid singular 'a bike' after 'students'—use plural 'bikes' for general statement. This fixes subject-verb agreement and pronoun/number consistency.