自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Focus on correct grammar, concise structure, and clear coherence. Start with a direct topic sentence (past tense), give one or two specific supporting details, and avoid repetition. Use linking words (for example, because, so) correctly and keep sentences complete. Also correct verb forms (did have → had; didn’t have) and clarify the final sentence (likely 'It was blue').

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child — it was a blue tricycle. My brother and mother bought it for me because he didn’t have a bike and wanted me to enjoy riding. I remember riding it around our yard every afternoon, which made me very happy.

建議: Clarify the main idea and use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'bikes' not 'works'), and correct grammar and word order. Begin with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + reason), then add one or two specific supporting points using linking words like 'because' and 'for example'. Avoid vague or repeated phrases.

範例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because they are fuel-efficient and cheaper to run than cars. For example, many commuters use motorcycles to avoid traffic and save money on petrol, and bicycles are common for short trips in towns.

× Yeah, I do had a bike when I was a child, it was tricycle.

✓ Yeah, I had a bike when I was a child; it was a tricycle.

The student used 'do had' which mixes present-tense auxiliary 'do' with past tense 'had'. For past experiences use simple past without 'do'. Also include the article 'a' before 'tricycle' and join clauses correctly. Suggestion: Use 'I had' for past possession and 'a tricycle' for countable nouns.

× My brother bought it for me with my mother, he didn't had any bike.

✓ My brother bought it for me with my mother; he didn't have a bike.

The sentence incorrectly uses past tense 'had' after the auxiliary 'didn't'. After 'didn't' the verb should be in base form 'have'. Also replace the comma splice with a semicolon or period. Suggestion: Use 'didn't have' for negative past statements.

× So he said to my mother, I want to buy a bike for my little sister, so she gonna enjoy the ride on the tricycle.

✓ So he said to my mother, 'I want to buy a bike for my little sister so she can enjoy riding the tricycle.'

The original mixes reported speech and direct speech awkwardly and uses informal 'gonna'. When reporting speech use either indirect speech with backshift ('he said that he wanted...') or keep direct speech with quotes. 'Gonna' is colloquial and should be 'is going to' or 'can' depending on meaning. 'Enjoy the ride on the tricycle' is unnatural; use 'enjoy riding the tricycle.' Suggestion: Use 'so she can enjoy riding the tricycle' or 'so she would enjoy riding the tricycle' in reported speech.

× Then I. Blue tricycle.

✓ Then I got a blue tricycle.

The fragment 'Then I. Blue tricycle.' is missing a verb and subject-verb connection. It should be a complete sentence like 'Then I got a blue tricycle.' or 'Then I had a blue tricycle.' Suggestion: Ensure each sentence has a subject and verb; use 'got' or 'had' to indicate receiving/possessing the tricycle.

× In our country works are more popular because they are efficient in petrol consumption and you didn't depend on any transportation convenience to move from one place to another.

✓ In our country bikes are more popular because they are fuel-efficient and you don't have to depend on public transport to move from one place to another.

'Works' is incorrect word choice; likely 'bikes' intended. 'Efficient in petrol consumption' is awkward; 'fuel-efficient' or 'fuel economy' is natural. 'You didn't depend' mixes past negative with general statement; use present 'you don't have to depend'. 'Transportation convenience' is vague; 'public transport' or 'other transportation' is clearer. Suggestion: Use correct nouns ('bikes'), maintain present tense for general facts ('are', 'don't'), and use natural phrases like 'fuel-efficient' and 'don't have to depend on public transport'.

× So you can use bike to you can choose bike.

✓ So you can use a bike; you can choose a bike.

The original repeats clauses and lacks articles. It is redundant and ungrammatical. Add the article 'a' before 'bike' and remove repetition or combine: 'So you can choose to use a bike.' Suggestion: Avoid repeating the same idea and include correct articles for singular countable nouns.