自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense/structure, remove filler words, and add one specific supporting detail. Use linking words to connect ideas. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I did. My parents bought me a pink bike as a birthday gift when I was a child, and it had lots of ribbons and stickers. I used to ride it around the neighborhood every afternoon, which helped me make friends and feel independent.

建議: Good idea and relevant details. Improve by avoiding repetition, using smoother linking words, and adding one concrete example or brief reason. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, definitely. Bicycles are a common mode of transport in China because the bike-sharing system is extensive and convenient, allowing people to scan an app and ride for short trips, which reduces traffic congestion and costs.

× Yes I did, I used to have a bike during my childhood which is bought by my parents as a birthday gift.

✓ Yes, I did. I used to have a bike during my childhood which was bought by my parents as a birthday gift.

The clause 'which is bought by my parents' uses the present simple passive ('is bought') but refers to a past action (the purchase happened when the student was a child). This requires the past participle with a past auxiliary: 'was bought.' Suggestion: use past passive for actions completed in the past: 'which was bought by my parents.' Also add punctuation to separate sentences: 'Yes, I did.'

× It's a pink bike, uh, decorated with a lot of decorations.

✓ It was a pink bike, decorated with a lot of embellishments.

The student talks about a bike they had in childhood, so past tense is appropriate. 'It's' (it is) is present; change to 'It was.' Also 'decorated with a lot of decorations' is repetitive; use 'decorated with a lot of embellishments' or 'very decorated.' Suggestion: maintain past tense consistency and avoid redundant words.

× I usually ride it around.

✓ I usually rode it around.

The time frame is childhood (past), so habitual past should be used. 'Usually ride' is present habitual; change to 'usually rode.' Suggestion: match habitual verbs to the past context when describing past routines.

× Yes, for sure. It is a very widespread way of commuting in China because the sharing bike system is very strong and so it's convenient for people to just scan a bike and just ride away for a short trip.

✓ Yes, for sure. Cycling is a very widespread way of commuting in China because the bike-sharing system is well developed, so it's convenient for people to scan a bike and ride away for a short trip.

Several issues: 'It is a very widespread way' uses the vague pronoun 'it'—prefer the noun 'Cycling' for clarity. 'Sharing bike system' is nonstandard word order; standard term is 'bike-sharing system' or 'bike share system.' 'Very strong' is awkward for systems; use 'well developed' or 'extensive.' Also avoid repeating 'just' before two verbs. Suggestion: use precise nouns, standard compound nouns ('bike-sharing'), and clearer adjectives ('well developed').