自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clear, grammatical and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific details using linking words. Correct verb forms and prepositions (e.g., “when I was a child,” not “when I was a job it”). Avoid filler words. Keep to a maximum of 4–5 sentences.

範例: Yes — I had a bike when I was a child. It was a gift from my parents and it was bright pink. Also, it had a bell on the handlebars and a small basket at the front, which made it easy to carry my toys. I used to ride it every afternoon around the neighborhood.

建議: Give a clear opinion, then support it with specific reasons or examples and use linking words (e.g., “because,” “for example,” “also”). Correct subject-verb agreement and avoid repetition. Keep sentences natural and within the 5-sentence limit.

範例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country because many families encourage children to cycle for exercise. For example, you often see children zooming around parks and residential streets. Also, schools promote cycling as a healthy way to commute, so most kids learn to ride at an early age.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a job it.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child; it was a gift from my parents.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear ('when I was a job it'). This is a sentence structure error: fragments and misplaced words. Combine related ideas into a complete sentence and use past tense for both clauses. Suggestion: replace the fragment with 'when I was a child' and connect the next clause with a clear subject and verb: 'it was a gift from my parents.'

× Was a gift from my parents.

✓ It was a gift from my parents.

This is a sentence fragment missing a subject. Every finite clause needs an explicit subject in English. Add the subject 'It' and the past tense verb 'was' to make a complete sentence.

× It is pink by there.

✓ It was pink back then.

The preposition 'by' is incorrect in this context. The student is trying to refer to the past time when they had the bike; use 'back then' or 'at that time' and match tense to past ('was').

× There was also a bell at the front and a uh.

✓ There was also a bell at the front.

The original ends with a filler 'uh' making the sentence incomplete. Remove the filler to form a complete, clear sentence. The structure 'There was also a bell at the front' is correct for describing past existence.

× Yes, I believe it is popular in our country.

✓ Yes, I believe bicycles are popular in our country.

The pronoun 'it' is vague and singular while referring to 'bikes' plural; also topic is general present—use plural 'bicycles are'. This fixes agreement and clarity.

× Actually you will mostly see children zooming by outside our our area.

✓ Actually, you mostly see children zooming by outside our area.

Using 'will' here is unnecessary for a general statement about typical present situations. Remove 'will' and correct the repeated word 'our'. Keep present simple for habitual actions: 'you mostly see.'

× Most of the children in our country knows know how to how to use the bike and even.

✓ Most children in our country know how to use bikes.

There are multiple issues: subject-verb agreement ('children' is plural so use 'know'), duplicated words ('knows know how to how to'), and article/number mismatch ('the bike' vs general 'bikes'). Also the sentence was trailing off; finish with a clear, concise statement using plural 'bikes' for generality.