自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and clear: start with a simple topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then give one or two specific supporting details (reason, memory or example). Use correct tense and avoid filler words. Connect ideas with a linking word (e.g., because, so, therefore). Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child. Because my family had limited money, my parents bought it so I could ride to school and help with small errands. I remember learning to balance on the road near our home, which was both fun and useful.

建議: Answer directly and use clearer vocabulary and grammar. State your opinion in one sentence, then add 1–2 specific reasons or examples using linking words like because or for example. Avoid repeated words and imprecise phrases.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in Vietnam because many people find them affordable and convenient for city traffic. For example, families often use motorbikes for commuting, shopping, and short trips, which makes them a common sight on the roads.

× OK, when I was a child, I don't have AI, don't have a bag because, uh, at that time my parents have to spend, uh, has to spend a lot of money, uh, for food, for house, uh, for, uh, daily, daily good. So, and they, they can't, uh, they can't, uh.

✓ OK, when I was a child, we did not have a bike, we did not have a bag because at that time my parents had to spend a lot of money on food, housing, and daily necessities, so they could not afford them.

The student mixes present tense with past context. Use past simple for situations in the past ('did not have', 'had to spend', 'could not afford'). Also correct collocations: 'spend money on', 'housing' and 'daily necessities' are more natural than 'for house' or 'daily, daily good'. Remove filler sounds and redundant repetitions to make the sentence clear.

× Uh, yes, Vietnam is the developing country so, uh, they and the, the, the citizen don't have much upper money to afford a car.

✓ Yes, Vietnam is a developing country, so many citizens do not have enough money to afford a car.

Do not use the definite article 'the' before 'developing country' in this general statement; use 'a developing country'. Use 'many citizens' or 'people' rather than 'the citizen'. Use 'do not have enough money' instead of 'don't have much upper money'. Also use plural agreement 'citizens do not have'.

× So that's why they choose bike as a, as a official officer, uh.

✓ So that's why they choose bikes as their main means of transport.

The phrase 'as a official officer' is incorrect and likely a wrong word choice. Use 'bikes' plural and 'main means of transport' or 'primary mode of transportation'. Also adjust article 'an' if needed ('an official' would be correct form) but here a different phrase is more appropriate.