自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and finish your thought. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid trailing or incomplete phrases. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., “handed down,” “learned to ride,” “took a while”).

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was handed down to me by my cousin, and at first I struggled to balance; however, after a few weeks of practice I learned to ride confidently.

建議: Give a clear direct answer, then support it with one or two specific reasons using linking words. Improve phrasing and fluency by avoiding repetition and awkward word order. Use precise vocabulary like “common,” “primarily,” and “practical.”

範例: Bikes are fairly common in my country, but they are mainly used for recreation rather than daily transport. This is because motorbikes and cars are seen as more practical for long distances and busy roads.

× Yes, like many other children I did have a bike which was passed down to me by my cousin and I struggled a lot on it before I finally learned to properly ride a bike and this has become.

✓ Yes, like many other children, I had a bike that was passed down to me by my cousin, and I struggled a lot with it before I finally learned to ride properly.

Errors: run-on sentence and awkward phrasing. Use simple past 'had' instead of 'did have' for a statement about childhood (Past tense issue but mainly sentence structure). Replace 'which' with 'that' for defining clause and use 'with it' rather than 'on it' when talking about struggling to learn. Remove redundant 'a bike' after 'ride' and move 'properly' after 'ride'. Suggestions: break long sentences into clear clauses with commas, use simple past for completed past states, choose appropriate preposition 'with' for difficulty learning, and avoid repetition.

× Bikes are by and large popular, as in popular in my country, but not so much so as a means of transportation since people usually use motorbikes or cars which are considered more efficient a means.

✓ Bikes are generally popular in my country, but not so much as a means of transportation, because people usually use motorbikes or cars, which are considered more efficient.

Errors: awkward prepositional phrases and redundancy. Replace 'by and large' with 'by and large' is acceptable but 'generally' is clearer; remove redundant 'as in popular in my country'. Use 'not so much as a means' rather than 'not so much so as a means'. Ending phrase 'more efficient a means' is ungrammatical; use 'more efficient' and omit 'a means'. Suggestions: simplify prepositional phrases, avoid redundancy, and place commas to separate clauses for clarity.