自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No), then add one or two supporting details with logical linking. Avoid repetition and filler words (e.g., “I remember” twice, or an abrupt “Hello”). Keep it within 2–4 sentences and correct small errors in chronology (13 or 12 — choose one).

範例: I didn’t have a bike when I was very young, but I got a bigger bicycle from my dad when I was about 13. I liked it because it gave me more freedom to visit friends and explore my neighborhood, and I used it every day after school.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and expand with a specific reason and an example. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, because, therefore, for instance). Replace vague phrases like “a bit short for cars” with clearer language such as “too far to walk but too short to drive.”

範例: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in my country because many trips are too long to walk but too short to drive. For instance, people often cycle to work or the market when it’s within a few kilometers, since it’s faster than walking and cheaper than using a car.

× Well, not really when I was a child, but if I remember it correctly, when I was about 13 or 12 years old, I remember my dad buying me a bigger bicycle and I really liked it and. Hello.

✓ Well, not when I was a child; if I remember correctly, when I was about 12 or 13 years old my dad bought me a bigger bicycle and I really liked it.

The original sentence has several sentence structure problems: an unnecessary filler 'really', awkward sequence 'about 13 or 12 years old' (number order), mixed tenses and redundant clauses ('if I remember it correctly' plus 'I remember'). Also it ends abruptly with 'and. Hello.' which is incomplete. Use simple past 'bought' for a past completed action and streamline the memory phrase to 'if I remember correctly'. Place the age in natural order '12 or 13'. Combine clauses into a single coherent sentence and remove extraneous 'and. Hello.' Suggestions: use simple past for past events, avoid repeating 'remember', order numbers ascending, and ensure sentences are complete.

× The reason for that is when the distance is far for walking and a bit short for cars.

✓ The reason is that for distances too far to walk but too short for cars, people often use bicycles.

The original uses incorrect and awkward prepositions and comparative phrases: 'far for walking' and 'short for cars' are not natural. Use 'too far to walk' and 'too short for cars' to express the idea. Also 'The reason for that is when...' creates a clause fragment; replace with 'The reason is that' and restructure the clause. Suggestions: use 'too + adjective + to + verb' for expressing unusable distances and start the explanation with 'The reason is that'.

× People often use bicycles in my country.

✓ People often use bicycles in my country.

This sentence is grammatically correct and needs no change. It is a complete sentence with correct verb tense and structure. No further action required.