自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 의미가 혼동됩니다. 먼저 직접적으로 질문에 답하는 주제문을 만들고, 그 뒤에 간단한 세부사항(언제, 어떤 종류의 자전거였는지, 누가 사줬는지)을 연결사로 자연스럽게 이어 쓰세요. 문법(과거 시제, 수동·능동 구분)과 어순에 주의하고 문장을 2~3문장으로 간결하게 유지하세요.

範例: Yes, I did. When I was about eight years old, my parents gave me a bright red bicycle for my birthday. I used to ride it around the neighborhood every day until it became too small for me.

建議: 표현이 어색하고 구체성이 부족합니다. 먼저 간단한 주제문으로 의견을 말한 뒤, 구체적 근거(인프라, 통계, 이용자 유형 등)를 하나나두 개 들어 연결사로 자연스럽게 이어 쓰세요. 반복(there are there are)과 잘못된 단어(weaker roads)는 수정하고, 적절한 어휘(roads, paths, lanes, riverside, bike lanes)를 사용하세요.

範例: Yes, I think so. In many cities in Korea, dedicated bike lanes and riverside cycling paths are common, so a lot of people use bicycles for exercise and short commutes. For instance, the Han River bike paths are very popular on weekends.

× Yes, when I was a child I bought a bike my parents gave me.

✓ Yes, when I was a child my parents gave me a bike.

The original sentence has a confusing word order that makes it unclear whether the student bought the bike or received it. This is a sentence structure error (moveable elements and modifier placement). Reordering the sentence so the subject and verb 'my parents gave me a bike' come together removes ambiguity and matches the past tense context. Suggestion: Place related clauses together (subject + verb + object) and keep time expressions (when I was a child) at the beginning or end for clarity.

× Yes, in Korea bikes are very well known for people.

✓ Yes, in Korea bikes are very popular with people.

Using 'well known for people' is incorrect here. The correct pattern is 'popular with people' or 'well known to people.' This is an incorrect use of prepositions and collocation. Suggestion: Use 'popular with' to indicate people like or use something, or 'well known to' to indicate awareness.

× For example, there are there are many bike roads beside the weaker roads.

✓ For example, there are many bike lanes next to the main roads.

The original sentence repeats 'there are' and uses 'weaker roads,' which is awkward and unclear. This is a sentence structure and word choice problem. 'Bike lanes' is the appropriate term, and 'next to the main roads' or 'beside the roads' is clearer. Suggestion: Avoid repetition, choose correct vocabulary (lane vs road), and use clear comparative words like 'main' instead of unclear adjectives like 'weaker.'