自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise, correct grammar and add specific, relevant details. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two supporting details using linking words. Avoid obvious statements (e.g. “it has two wheels”) and tense errors. Also reduce repetition (e.g. “really”) and ensure correct past tense (e.g. “helped me”).

範例: Yes. I had a pink bike as a child that my grandparents gave me for my fourth birthday. I loved it because it gave me freedom to explore my neighbourhood, and I often rode it to the park where I met other children and made friends. Because I rode every day, I quickly became confident and comfortable cycling on the road.

建議: Improve grammar, clarity and coherence. Begin with a clear, direct statement, then give specific reasons and use linking words (e.g. “because”, “so”, “for example”). Correct tense and word choice (e.g. “in the 1990s”, “couldn’t afford”, “primary means of transport”) and avoid repetition. Keep to 2–3 supporting sentences maximum.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in China. In the 1990s, many families could not afford cars, so bicycles were the primary means of transport. Even today, bikes — including shared e-bikes — remain common in cities because they are cheap and convenient for short trips.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

No correction needed; sentence correctly uses past tense to describe a past possession.

× It was a pink bike and I remember that I got it as my 4th birthday gift from my grandparents.

✓ It was a pink bike, and I remember that I got it as my fourth birthday gift from my grandparents.

Use of 'was' and 'remember' is acceptable (past and present respectively) but numbers in formal writing should be written as words: '4th' -> 'fourth'. Also add a comma before the conjunction 'and' to join two independent clauses.

× I really liked riding my bike because it is really easy to start with, it has two wheels attached to the end of the bike and it helps me to balance and I made friends riding the bike.

✓ I really liked riding my bike because it was easy to start with; it had two wheels and helped me balance, and I made friends while riding the bike.

Tense consistency error: the sentence mixes past ('liked', 'made') with present ('is', 'has', 'helps'). Since the context is past, change present verbs to past ('is'->'was', 'has'->'had', 'helps'->'helped'). Also simplify wording: 'two wheels attached to the end of the bike' is redundant; bikes normally have two wheels. Use a semicolon or commas to separate clauses for clarity. Replace 'riding the bike' repetition with 'while riding'.

× Yes, bikes are really popular in my country.

✓ Yes, bicycles are really popular in my country.

No major grammar error, but 'bikes' is acceptable colloquially. Suggest using 'bicycles' for formality. Sentence structure is fine.

× My home country is China and originally from the 90 from the 90s.

✓ I am from China and originally from the 1990s.

The original has missing subject and redundant phrase 'from the 90 from the 90s'. Add subject 'I am' and use 'the 1990s' for the decade. Keep past reference 'originally from' to indicate origin in that decade.

× People don't usually can't usually afford a car so most of the families they would buy a bike and they the bikes are the main method.

✓ People usually couldn't afford a car, so most families would buy a bike, and bikes were the main mode of transport.

Multiple issues: contradictory auxiliaries 'don't' + 'can't' should be a single modal in past context: use 'couldn't' or 'could not'. Remove redundant 'usually' duplication. 'Most of the families they would' contains an unnecessary pronoun 'they' — use simply 'most families'. 'the bikes are the main method' is awkward; use 'bikes were the main mode of transport' to match past timeframe. Also add commas to separate clauses for clarity.