学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence (I am a student), avoid grammar errors (verb forms, articles), reduce filler words (like, so) and keep sentences to a maximum of five. Add one or two specific details about what you study using correct noun forms and parallel structure. Use linking words such as “and” or “for example” correctly.

範例: I am a student. I enjoy studying a variety of subjects, for example mathematics, English, Mandarin, art and music. I am also looking forward to working in the future because I want to be independent and apply what I learn.

建議: Give a clear direct answer first (at school and at home), avoid repetition (don’t repeat “school” twice) and correct small grammar issues (use ‘subjects’ not ‘that subjects’). Use a linking word such as “and” or “also” to connect ideas and provide a brief specific detail about what you do at each place.

範例: I usually study at school and at home. At school I attend classes for subjects like mathematics, English and Chinese, while at home I follow my own study schedule to review lessons and do homework.

建議: This is a strong response. To improve further, make one concise topic sentence then use one linking word (for example “Moreover” or “Additionally”) for supporting detail. Keep sentences tight and avoid slight redundancy (e.g. ‘learn more effective study methods’ and ‘easier to understand’ overlap).

範例: Yes, definitely. School teachers explain difficult topics and teach effective study methods, and at home my parents help me review the day’s lessons and answer questions. As a result, I understand and remember the material better.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I would like one change). Fix grammar (avoid double subjects, use plural agreement), remove filler words and run-on sentences. Use linking words (for example, “for instance” or “also”) and be specific about what you mean by ‘volume’ and how teachers could improve clarity.

範例: Yes, I would like one change. For instance, other students often talk loudly during study time, so I would ask them to keep their voices down. Also, I would like teachers to explain some topics more clearly by giving more examples and checking students’ understanding.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence describing your main plan (organize time). Avoid repetition (“organize my time wisely” repeated) and correct sentence structure (don’t use question order in statements). Use linking words (“first,” “then”) and give a specific method or example of your plan (e.g. time blocks, to-do lists).

範例: First, I will organize my study time by creating a weekly schedule. For example, I will block two hours for maths on weekdays, one hour for English practice, and set short breaks so I stay focused.

× I'm still a student but I'm very looking forward to works cause like an adult.

✓ I'm still a student but I'm really looking forward to working because I want to be like an adult.

The verb phrase 'looking forward to' must be followed by a noun or gerund (working), not an infinitive or plural noun 'works'. 'Very looking forward' is ungrammatical; use 'really looking forward'. 'Cause' is informal and should be 'because'. Also 'like an adult' fits meaning better with 'want to be like an adult' to clarify intention.

× But since I'm still a student I think I still likes to study.

✓ But since I'm still a student I think I still like to study.

'I' takes the base form 'like' in the present simple, not 'likes'. 'Likes' is the third person singular form; this is a subject-verb agreement error.

× Like for example academics, education, mathematics, English, mandarins, art and music.

✓ For example, academics, education, mathematics, English, Mandarin, art and music.

'Like for example' is redundant; use 'for example'. 'Mandarins' should be 'Mandarin' to refer to the subject/language. Also a comma after 'For example' improves clarity.

× I normally study at school because I go to school and I study about mathematics, English and Chinese and all that subjects, and I also study at home like my own schedule.

✓ I normally study at school because I attend school and study mathematics, English and Chinese, and I also study at home according to my own schedule.

'Go to school and I study about' is awkward; use 'attend school and study'. 'Study about' is incorrect; we 'study' a subject. 'All that subjects' is ungrammatical; use 'those subjects' if needed. 'Like my own schedule' should be 'according to my own schedule' for clarity.

× At school, teachers provide support and explain difficult topics so I learn more effective study methods, and at home, my parents help me review what I learned that day and answer any questions I have.

✓ At school, teachers provide support and explain difficult topics, so I learn more effective study methods; at home, my parents help me review what I learned that day and answer any questions I have.

This sentence is mostly correct grammatically but needs punctuation to separate clauses for clarity. Replacing comma with semicolon or splitting into two sentences improves readability. No tense or agreement errors.

× There is only one point that I would want to change is the volume of this other students studying and their voice.

✓ The only thing I would like to change is the volume of the other students who are studying and their talking voices.

Original mixes 'There is' construction with a clause starting 'is', causing redundancy. Use 'The only thing I would like to change is...'. 'This other students' is wrong: number and determiner mismatch; use 'the other students'. 'Their voice' is singular; 'their talking voices' or 'the volume of their voices' is clearer.

× So like maybe they could turn their volumes a bit down and the teachers would. Explain the subject more clearly.

✓ So maybe they could turn their volumes down a bit, and the teachers could explain the subjects more clearly.

Split sentence fragments: 'the teachers would.' is a fragment; combine into one sentence. 'Turn their volumes a bit down' is awkward; 'turn their volumes down a bit' is natural. 'Explain the subject more clearly' should agree in number with 'subjects' if referring to multiple classes; use 'could' for parallel modal usage.

× So firstly I would organize my time wisely and use my time wisely so that I won't get mixed up from what should I do next or what should I do 1st and I would organize a time schedule for my study.

✓ First, I would organize my time wisely so that I won't get confused about what I should do next or what I should do first, and I would create a study schedule.

Avoid repetition 'organize my time wisely and use my time wisely' — redundant. Use 'get confused about' instead of 'get mixed up from'. Word order in indirect question should be 'what I should do', not 'what should I do'. Use 'first' rather than '1st' in formal speech. 'Organize a time schedule' is awkward; 'create a study schedule' is clearer.