学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make the answer more concise and correct minor grammar and pronunciation errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Avoid repetition (e.g., "so" used twice) and unclear phrasing. Use linking words like "because" or "and" to connect ideas.

範例: I'm a final-year student majoring in classical music composition at Kung Min University in Seoul. Because I'm graduating soon, I feel a little nervous, but I'm excited to start my career.

建議: Correct the institution name and verb forms and be specific about the place and study activities. Begin with a direct statement of location, then add concise supporting details using linking words such as "there" or "where."

範例: I usually study in the university library at Kung Min University. There I focus on subjects like harmony, music theory, and performance practice.

建議: Fix grammar and unclear words (e.g., "my score" likely meant "it's" or "the space"). Give specific features and link them clearly. Keep it to one topic sentence plus one supporting detail using connectors like "because" or "and."

範例: Yes, it's a very good place to study because the library is quiet and has comfortable desks and cushions, which help me concentrate and feel relaxed.

建議: This answer is unclear and fragmented. Give a direct response (yes/no) and then state one specific, realistic change you'd like, with a brief reason. Avoid fillers like "umm" and vague phrases.

範例: I don't need major changes, but if possible I would like more private study rooms so students can rehearse without disturbing others.

建議: Use correct forms ("a master's degree" or "a master's program") and be slightly more specific about the subject and reason. Start with a clear statement and add one or two specific reasons with linking words like "because" or "so that."

範例: I plan to pursue a master's degree in composition in the UK because I want to deepen my understanding of composition and music production so I can work professionally in the music industry.

× I am a student, More specifically, I am majoring in classical music composition at Kung Min University, which is located in Seoul, and I'm a senior so I'm going to graduate soon, so I feel a little bit nervous.

✓ I am a student. More specifically, I am majoring in classical music composition at Kung Min University in Seoul, and I'm a senior, so I will graduate soon and feel a little nervous.

The original sentence is a run-on with inconsistent connectors and capitalization. Split into shorter sentences and use 'in Seoul' instead of 'which is located in Seoul' for concision. Use future tense 'will graduate' for a near planned future; combine feelings into one clause. Capitalize 'More' correctly only if starting a sentence.

× I usually study in Kunming University at a library.

✓ I usually study at Kunming University in the library.

Use 'at' for institutions (at Kunming University) and 'in the library' to indicate location inside a building. Word order 'at [university] in the library' is more natural.

× That is because Kung University is my school and I'm usually learn about many things like harmony and performance and music theory.

✓ That is because Kunming University is my school and I usually learn many subjects like harmony, performance, and music theory.

'I'm usually learn' is ungrammatical — use 'I usually learn'. Also correct the university name consistency (Kunming). Use 'learn many subjects' and add commas in a list. Avoid 'that is because' repetition; keeping it is acceptable but ensure grammatical structure.

× Absolutely yes. That is because my score is a really quiet and there are lots of cushions and desktop so it makes me feel more calm and relaxed.

✓ Absolutely. It is really quiet, and there are lots of cushions and desks, so it makes me feel calm and relaxed.

'Absolutely yes' is awkward; 'Absolutely' suffices. 'My score is a really quiet' is incorrect — likely meant 'It is really quiet'. 'Desktop' should be 'desks' for furniture; use plural to match 'lots of'. 'More calm and relaxed' can be simplified to 'calm and relaxed'.

× Not at all. However, if I have a chance, umm, I want to. Well lead well additionally. I hope to.

✓ Not at all. However, if I have the chance, I would like to make some improvements. For example, I hope the library could add better lighting and more study rooms.

Original contains fragments and unclear phrases ('I want to. Well lead well additionally. I hope to.'). Provide a coherent corrected sentence that fits the question asked: suggesting changes. Use 'would like to' to express hypothetical wishes and give concrete examples.

× I hope to go to master's degrees in the UK.

✓ I hope to pursue a master's degree in the UK.

'Go to master's degrees' is incorrect usage. Use 'pursue a master's degree' (singular) or 'master's degrees' with specifying plural context. 'In the UK' is correct placement.

× That is because I want to study my major more deeply and I hope to become an expert in music industry.

✓ That is because I want to study my major more deeply, and I hope to become an expert in the music industry.

Add the definite article 'the' before 'music industry' to refer to the specific sector. Also add a comma before 'and' to join two independent clauses. 'Study my major more deeply' is acceptable but could also be 'study my subject more deeply.'