学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make your answer more grammatical, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and reduce repetition. Use one or two supporting details (place, role, duration, specialty, main tasks) linked with simple connectors.

範例: I am currently working as a nursing lecturer at Brown Rashly College of Nursing. I have been teaching there for two years and four months, specializing in pediatric nursing, and my main responsibilities include delivering classroom lessons and supervising clinical practice.

建議: Provide a clear, chronological statement about your past and present studies. Correct institution names and degree terms, avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Use linking words (first, then, now, in the future) to make sequence clear.

範例: I completed a bachelor's degree in nursing at Abram Russian College of Nursing. Afterwards, I studied for a master's degree at my current university, and in the future I plan to pursue further postgraduate study abroad.

建議: Give a direct opinion then support it with specific reasons and one brief example. Avoid hesitations and repetition. Use linking words like because and therefore to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, it's a very good place to study because the curriculum focuses on practical skills and patient care, which helps me become a more professional nurse. For example, clinical placements allowed me to practice pediatric procedures under supervision, improving my confidence.

建議: The answer does not address the question (changes desired). First state whether you would like changes, then specify one or two concrete improvements (facilities, resources, teaching methods) and explain why using linking words.

範例: Yes, I would like some changes, particularly better simulation labs and updated equipment. Improved simulation facilities would allow students to practice procedures more safely and build clinical confidence before working with real patients.

建議: Give a clear, grammatically correct plan with specific reasons. State the program, location, funding and why you chose that university or supervisor. Avoid unclear phrases and correct terminology (PhD in Nursing, supervisor's expertise).

範例: I plan to pursue a PhD in Nursing at the University of Dundee in Scotland, funded by a Thai government scholarship. I chose Dundee because my proposed supervisor is an expert in pediatric practice, which fits my research interests in child health.

× I'm currently working I'm work as a nursing regular at Brown Rashly College of Nursing where I have been teaching for two years and four months.

✓ I'm currently working; I work as a regular nursing instructor at Brown Rashly College of Nursing, where I have been teaching for two years and four months.

The sentence mixes present continuous and present simple incorrectly and contains awkward word order. Use 'I'm currently working' OR 'I work' and ensure role is expressed clearly: 'a regular nursing instructor'. Keep present perfect continuous 'have been teaching' for an action that started in the past and continues to now. Suggestion: choose one present form for the main clause and ensure job title and placement of 'where' clause are correct.

× I specialize in pediatric nursing.

✓ I specialize in pediatric nursing.

This sentence is correct. No change needed. 'Specialize' with 'in' and the noun phrase 'pediatric nursing' is appropriate.

× My main responsibility are teaching students in the classroom and also teaching.

✓ My main responsibilities are teaching students in the classroom and supervising practical training.

The subject 'responsibilities' must agree with the plural verb 'are'. Original used singular 'responsibility' with plural verb and repeated 'teaching', which is redundant. Use plural 'responsibilities' and provide a clearer second item (e.g., 'supervising practical training') to avoid repetition.

× I study Abram Russian College of Nursing adults at bachelor degree and then I study master degree at my university and now in the future and in the future I plan to study in.

✓ I studied at Abram Russian College of Nursing for my bachelor's degree in adult nursing, and then I studied for my master's degree at my university. In the future, I plan to continue my studies abroad.

The student mixes tenses and uses incorrect noun forms. For completed degrees, use past tense 'studied'. Use 'bachelor's degree' and 'master's degree' with possessive form. Clarify 'adult nursing'. The phrase 'now in the future and in the future I plan to study in' is unclear; replace with 'In the future, I plan to continue my studies abroad'.

× Is it a good place to study?

✓ Is it a good place to study?

This sentence is correct. The article use is appropriate for the question.

× Yes, of course it's a good place for study because it helps me to improve myself to be a professional nurse and to be excellent to help the patient.

✓ Yes, of course it's a good place to study because it helps me improve my skills to become a professional nurse and provide excellent care to patients.

The original has awkward infinitive phrases ('to improve myself to be') and article error 'the patient'. Use 'improve my skills' and 'become a professional nurse'. Use plural 'patients' for general meaning. Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'helps me'.

× And I have a main priority that I have to, uh, help people to.

✓ My main priority is to help people.

Redundant phrasing and incorrect infinitive placement. Simplify to 'My main priority is to help people.' This corrects pronoun/structure issues and removes filler 'to' at the end.

× Yes, I like the pairs where I study too much because, uh, it is helps me to be right now and to be a good person to help other people and kind and generous to help other people more than in the part and help me to improve my.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I study very much because it helps me grow into a kind and generous person who can better help others and improve myself.

Many errors: 'pairs' should be 'place', 'it is helps' is ungrammatical, awkward fragments ('be right now', 'more than in the part'), and incomplete final phrase. Rewrite for clarity: 'place', use 'helps me grow into', and complete idea with 'improve myself'.

× I would like to study a PhD nursing in Scotland at University of Dundee because I got a scholarship from the Thai government and I plan to study a PRC nursing in there because the supervisor that the specialized in buyer pretty act.

✓ I would like to study for a PhD in nursing in Scotland at the University of Dundee because I received a scholarship from the Thai government. I plan to pursue postgraduate research there because the supervisor specializes in pediatric nursing.

Multiple issues: use 'study for a PhD in nursing' and include article 'the University of Dundee'. 'Got' should be 'received' for formality and past tense consistency. 'PRC nursing' is unclear; likely 'PhD' or 'postgraduate research'—use 'postgraduate research' or 'PhD'. The final clause is garbled; replace with 'the supervisor specializes in pediatric nursing'. Ensure future intention uses 'would like to' and 'plan to' correctly.