学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cải thiện sự rõ ràng và ngữ pháp; trả lời trực tiếp với một câu chủ đề rồi bổ sung tối đa 2–3 câu hỗ trợ. Tránh lỗi từ và cấu trúc (ví dụ “in a study at open high school”, “day singing”). Nên sử dụng các liên từ đơn giản để mạch lạc (for example, because, so).

範例: I am a student at an open high school. I usually spend my day attending classes and studying. I find my studies challenging but rewarding because they help me reach my goals.

建議: Cải thiện tính chính xác và cụ thể về địa điểm; dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng và cung cấp một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể. Sửa lỗi lặp từ và thứ tự từ. Sử dụng liên từ nếu cần để nối ý.

範例: I study at the local open high school near my home. It is a quiet and supportive environment, and sometimes I study there with friends to stay motivated.

建議: Làm rõ lý do và dùng từ phù hợp; tránh cấu trúc lộn xộn như “without this available that help me”. Trả lời trực tiếp rồi liệt kê 2–3 lý do cụ thể, dùng liên từ (for example, because, and) để liên kết câu.

範例: Yes, it is a good place to study because it is bright and quiet. It has a large collection of books and useful resources which help me with research and homework.

建議: Cải thiện tính logic và chính xác khi đề xuất thay đổi; tránh từ không phù hợp như “my son to make strangers”. Nên đưa ra 2–3 đề xuất cụ thể, dùng cấu trúc: I would like + to have + noun phrase. Nêu lý do ngắn gọn cho mỗi đề xuất.

範例: Yes, I would like a few changes. For example, I would like the school to renovate and expand the library with more up-to-date books and create additional computer labs. I would also like more green spaces where students can relax and study.

建議: Làm rõ mục tiêu học tập và diễn đạt mạch lạc; dùng cụm từ chính xác như “learn a foreign language” thay vì “earn foreign client language”. Nêu một hoặc hai hành động cụ thể (take courses, practice speaking) và mục đích ngắn gọn. Sử dụng liên từ để kết nối lý do.

範例: I plan to learn a foreign language relevant to my field, such as English or Japanese. By studying it through classes and regular conversation practice, I hope to improve my job prospects and possibly work abroad.

× I am a student in a study at open high school.

✓ I am a student at Open High School.

The sentence structure is awkward and contains unnecessary words. Use the preposition 'at' with a school and capitalize the proper noun 'Open High School'. Remove 'in a study' which is incorrect here. Suggestion: say 'I am a student at Open High School.'

× My day singing goes attending classes, studying and I find my study is strengthening but is rewarding because.

✓ My day usually involves attending classes and studying; I find my studies challenging but rewarding.

The original sentence has incorrect word choice ('singing'), wrong verb forms and an incomplete clause. Replace 'singing' with 'usually involves', use gerunds 'attending' and 'studying', make 'studies' plural, and complete the contrast with 'challenging but rewarding'.

× I have been studying at every is quite an help me really focus.

✓ I have been studying everywhere; it is quite helpful and helps me really focus.

The original mixes phrases incorrectly. Use 'everywhere' or specify a place, and 'helpful' as the adjective. Also split into two clauses linked logically. Use 'helps me focus' for clarity.

× Sometimes I I am my friends vote there together.

✓ Sometimes my friends and I go there together.

There is a duplication 'I I' and incorrect word 'vote'. The correct subject order is 'my friends and I' and the verb is 'go' for going to a place. Suggestion: 'Sometimes my friends and I go there together.'

× Yes, it is a good place to study because it is bright and has many books and without this available that help me study with our researching.

✓ Yes, it is a good place to study because it is bright and has many books and resources available that help me with my research.

The phrase 'without this available' is incorrect. Use 'resources available' and 'help me with my research'. Also use 'my' not 'our' to match the speaker. This corrects preposition and noun choice.

× Yes, a little bit. I would like my son to make strangers.

✓ Yes, a little. I would like some changes to make the campus safer for newcomers.

The original 'I would like my son to make strangers' is unclear and likely incorrect. It appears the speaker means to request changes; rephrase to a clear request. Use 'some changes' and clarify intent.

× For example I think we need one more than 60 updated library and more computer labs.

✓ For example, I think we need at least one more updated library with over 60 seats and more computer labs.

'One more than 60 updated library' is ungrammatical. Use 'at least one more' and clarify what '60' refers to (seats, computers, or books). Ensure noun agreement: 'library' is singular and 'labs' plural. Suggest specifying 'with over 60 seats'.

× Also is should be more green space.

✓ Also, there should be more green space.

Incorrect word order and missing subject. Use 'there should be' and 'green space' as noun phrase. Place comma after 'Also'.

× I plan to earn foreign client language the beginning that are relevant to my study.

✓ I plan to learn foreign languages relevant to my studies.

Use 'learn' not 'earn' for studying languages. Remove extra words 'client' and 'the beginning that are' which are incorrect. Use plural 'languages' and 'studies' for consistency.

× With it, I can get better job opportunities in my future and open up the possibility of working abroad.

✓ This will help me get better job opportunities in the future and open up the possibility of working abroad.

Use a clear subject 'This' referring to learning languages, change 'in my future' to 'in the future', and use 'will help me' for expected result. This corrects awkward phrasing.