学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with one clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition and grammar errors (e.g., use "I'm studying for a master's in molecular biology"; use "which focuses on" not "that focusing").

範例: I'm currently a student studying for a master's degree in molecular biology. It focuses on how small changes in genes can affect the whole body, and I find it fascinating because it helps explain diseases at a basic level.

建議: Answer directly and correct factual phrasing; avoid starting with "No." Use one topic sentence stating the university and then one specific positive detail. Correct plural and article use ("a great professor" → "great professors").

範例: I study at the University of La Syria in Mauritania. Although it's not a top-ranked university, we have many well-equipped labs and excellent professors who support our research.

建議: Be clearer and use smoother linking words. Start with a direct opinion, then give concise reasons and one example. Avoid hesitation words like "uh" and fix phrases ("compete with international" → "compete internationally").

範例: Personally, I don't think it's the best place to study. Because I am ambitious and want to compete internationally, I see my current university as a stepping stone to gain experience before applying to programs abroad.

建議: The question asks about changes to the university; answer accordingly. State a clear desired change (e.g., more international collaboration), give a reason, and use correct expressions ("go to a top country" → "study in a leading country"; "human humanity" is redundant). Keep sentences concise.

範例: Yes. I would like the university to increase international collaboration and exchange programs so students can train in leading research centers and contribute to advances in human health.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence about your plans, then one or two specific goals. Use correct vocabulary ("research" not "researchers"; "cure cancer" or "increase cancer survival rates"; "genetic malignancies"). Avoid vague phrasing.

範例: I plan to focus my research on cancer therapy, particularly improving cure rates and developing genetic-based treatments for malignancies. For example, I hope to work on gene therapies that increase patients' chances of long-term survival.

× Currently I'm a student, I'm studying a master in molecular biology.

✓ Currently I'm a student; I'm studying for a master's degree in molecular biology.

The phrase 'studying a master' is incorrect collocation. Use 'studying for a master's degree' to indicate enrolment in a graduate program and include the possessive form 'master's'. Also a semicolon improves sentence flow between two related clauses.

× It's a field that focusing on how small genes can make a lot of impact in the whole body or even the whole population.

✓ It's a field that focuses on how small genes can have a large impact on the whole body or even on entire populations.

The relative clause requires the third-person singular verb 'focuses' not 'focusing'. Use 'have a large impact' instead of 'make a lot of impact' and correct preposition 'on the whole body' and pluralize 'populations' for generality.

× So it's really, really interesting field.

✓ So it's a really, really interesting field.

The sentence is missing the indefinite article 'a' before 'really interesting field'. Use 'a' to modify the singular noun 'field'.

× No, I'm taking this course in the University of La Syria, Mauritania.

✓ No, I'm taking this course at the University of La Syria in Mauritania.

Use the preposition 'at' with 'the University' and include 'in Mauritania' to indicate the country. The definite article 'the' is required before 'University of La Syria'.

× So it's not a very sophisticated university, but we have a lot of labs and and great professor to be right.

✓ So it's not a very sophisticated university, but we have many labs and great professors to be fair.

Use 'many' with countable plural 'labs' and pluralize 'professors'. Remove the duplicated 'and'. The phrase 'to be fair' (not 'to be right') fits the intended meaning.

× For me, I don't think so because, uh, I'm a very ambitious student, so I want to compete with the international.

✓ For me, I don't think so because I'm a very ambitious student and I want to compete internationally.

Replace 'compete with the international' (awkward noun) with the adverb 'internationally' or 'with international students'. Remove filler 'uh' and use 'and' to join clauses.

× So for me this is just a step point to go out there to compete.

✓ So for me this is just a stepping stone to go out there and compete.

'Step point' is not idiomatic; use 'stepping stone'. Use parallel structure 'go out there and compete' rather than repeating 'to'.

× Yes, yes, I would like to go one of the first country to study this field and to compete with international students and make good change for the human humanity.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to one of the leading countries to study this field, compete with international students, and make positive changes for humanity.

Use 'go to' with countries, 'one of the leading countries' is idiomatic for top destinations. 'Make good change for the human humanity' is redundant; use 'make positive changes for humanity'. Also use parallel verbs without repeating 'to'.

× My future researchers will be based on how to cure cancers, even just increasing the percentage of cure cancers and genetics malignance.

✓ My future research will focus on how to cure cancers, including increasing cancer cure rates and studying genetic malignancies.

'Researchers' is incorrect; use 'research'. Use 'will focus on' for future plans. 'Increasing the percentage of cure cancers' should be 'increasing cancer cure rates'. 'Genetics malignance' is incorrect; use 'genetic malignancies' or 'genetic causes of malignancy'.