学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cần cải thiện tính chính xác ngữ pháp, phát âm và sự mạch lạc. Tránh lặp từ và thông tin không rõ ràng (ví dụ “academic and finance”, “went to work”, “have been business manage their money”). Nên mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, rồi cung cấp 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể liên quan đến lý do bạn thích ngành học (ví dụ: kỹ năng phân tích, kinh nghiệm làm việc thực tế). Giữ độ dài không quá 4–5 câu và dùng liên từ phù hợp (because, so, therefore).

範例: I'm a student studying Finance at the Academy of Finance. I enjoy my major because I like analyzing numbers and helping companies manage their budgets. Last summer I interned in a corporate finance department, which helped me apply classroom knowledge to real projects.

建議: Cần sửa cấu trúc câu và dùng thì đúng. Tránh filler (uh, um) và nói rõ tên nơi học. Diễn đạt lý do chọn trường một cách cụ thể (ví dụ: danh tiếng, chương trình, hoặc ảnh hưởng gia đình) trong 1–2 câu. Sử dụng liên từ như because hoặc since để nối ý. Hãy kiểm tra ngữ pháp chủ-động/động từ (I chose, my mother studied).

範例: I study at the Academy of Finance in Vietnam. I chose this university because it has a strong finance program and my mother also studied here, so I was familiar with its reputation.

建議: Cần dùng từ vựng chính xác (không dùng “rude” nếu muốn nói tốt). Sửa ngữ pháp và cấu trúc (it is one of the top universities in Vietnam, qualified teachers). Trình bày rõ lập luận với 1–2 lý do cụ thể: chương trình học, giảng viên, cơ hội nghề nghiệp. Dùng liên kết để mạch lạc (for example, because, therefore).

範例: Yes, it is a very good place to study. It is one of the top finance universities in Vietnam with a strong curriculum and many qualified teachers, so students are well prepared for their careers.

建議: Cần làm rõ ý trả lời (có muốn thay đổi hay không) và dùng từ chính xác (colleagues → university, particular training → practical training). Tránh câu mơ hồ; nêu 1 thay đổi cụ thể nếu có (ví dụ: cải thiện cơ sở vật chất, thêm môn thực hành). Dùng liên từ (however, but, besides) để chuyển ý rõ ràng.

範例: I don't think major changes are necessary because the university provides strong practical training and good internship opportunities. However, I would like to see more modern study spaces and updated lab equipment to support students.

建議: Cần sửa ngữ pháp và cấu trúc (after graduating from the Academy of Finance, I want to work in a corporate company because I want to do accounting like my mum). Nói rõ kế hoạch cụ thể: nghề mong muốn, bước tiếp theo (làm việc, học cao hơn), và lý do ngắn gọn. Giữ 2–3 câu, dùng liên từ để logic.

範例: After graduating from the Academy of Finance, I plan to work in a corporate company as an accountant because my mother is an accountant and I want to follow her career path. I may also consider taking a professional accounting certificate to improve my skills.

× To be honest I'm a student, I'm studying academic and finance in Academy of finance.

✓ To be honest, I'm a student; I'm studying academic finance at the Academy of Finance.

The sentence uses incorrect articles and prepositions and awkward noun phrases. Use 'the' before a specific institution ('the Academy of Finance'), use 'at' for studying place, and combine 'academic and finance' into 'academic finance' or 'academics and finance' depending on meaning. Also add commas and punctuation for clarity.

× I love my major because I went to work in a corporate finance and I always enjoy analyse numbers and have been business manage their money.

✓ I love my major because I want to work in corporate finance; I always enjoy analysing numbers and helping businesses manage their money.

Prepositions and verb forms are incorrect: use 'work in corporate finance' (no article), use 'want' not 'went' (context future desire), use the gerund 'analysing' after 'enjoy', and change 'have been business manage' to 'helping businesses manage' (plural 'businesses' and correct verb form).

× Well, to be honest, I'm starting an Academy of finance was just, uh, one of the tough university from finance in Vietnam.

✓ Well, to be honest, starting at the Academy of Finance was one of the toughest finance universities in Vietnam.

Tense and word forms are incorrect: 'I'm starting' is wrong for a past decision; use 'starting at' or 'starting my studies at'. Use superlative/adjective forms: 'tough' -> 'toughest' and 'one of the toughest finance universities'. Use 'in' not 'from'.

× Uh, I, uh, choose this to study because my mom in the last, uh, study at this.

✓ I chose to study here because my mom studied here before.

Pronouns and verb tenses are incorrect: use past tense 'chose' and 'studied'. Use 'here' for place reference instead of 'this'. 'My mom in the last' is ungrammatical; replace with 'my mom studied here before'.

× Of course academic finance is a very rude place to study because it's one of the top universities from finding in Vietnam with a curriculum and many qualified teacher so star students are very well prepared for career in the.

✓ Of course, the Academy of Finance is a very good place to study because it's one of the top finance universities in Vietnam, with a strong curriculum and many qualified teachers, so students are well prepared for their careers.

Many word choices are incorrect: 'rude' should be 'good'; 'from finding' should be 'in finance'; use 'the Academy of Finance' as a proper noun; pluralize 'teachers' and 'careers'; add commas and adjust word order for clarity.

× Well, in my opinion, I don't think my colleagues need to change because it offers excellent particular training and internship opportunities.

✓ Well, in my opinion, I don't think the university needs to change because it offers excellent practical training and internship opportunities.

Wrong noun 'colleagues' and adjective 'particular' are incorrect: the speaker refers to the university, not colleagues; 'practical' fits meaning. Align subject 'the university' with 'offers'. Ensure correct article usage.

× Besides, my University Health students prepare for their career in industrial.

✓ Besides, the university helps students prepare for their careers in industry.

Capitalization and word choice errors: 'University Health' unclear—likely 'the university helps'. Use plural 'students' and 'careers'. Use 'industry' rather than 'industrial'. Adjust word order for natural English.

× To be honest, after graduating academic and finance, I want to work in a corporate company because I want to accounting like my mom.

✓ To be honest, after graduating from the Academy of Finance, I want to work in a corporate company because I want to do accounting like my mom.

Missing preposition 'from' after 'graduating', incorrect noun phrase 'academic and finance' should be 'the Academy of Finance'. Use verb phrase 'do accounting' or 'be an accountant' instead of 'want to accounting'.