学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is quite detailed but a bit redundant and slightly unclear in parts. Try to be more concise and use clearer expressions. For example, instead of 'I had this phobia meeting new students,' say 'I was nervous about meeting new students.' Also, avoid unnecessary repetition and keep your answer within 3-4 sentences for better effectiveness.

範例: I am a language instructor and have been teaching for several years. Initially, I was nervous about meeting new students, but now I feel confident. Teaching high school students was challenging at first, but I have improved a lot over time.

建議: Your answer provides good information but could be more structured and concise. Avoid repeating similar ideas like 'beautiful interactions' and 'beautiful connections.' Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Try to limit your answer to 4 sentences and focus on clarity.

範例: I am not currently studying as I graduated two years ago with a bachelor's degree in economics and a master's in business management. I really enjoyed my student life because I had great interactions with my classmates and colleagues. These connections have been valuable to me even after graduation.

建議: Your answer is relevant but contains some repetition and could be more fluent. Try to avoid repeating phrases like 'we had we had' and use linking words to improve coherence. Also, be more specific about what made the place good for studying.

範例: Yes, it was a good place to study because it had a serene and quiet atmosphere. In Ghana, in 2017, I studied with friends in learning teams where we helped each other solve problems. This collaborative environment made studying enjoyable and effective.

建議: Your answer addresses the question well but has some grammatical errors and repetition. For example, 'lectures' should be 'lecturers.' Also, avoid repeating words like 'very, very much.' Use linking words to connect your ideas clearly.

範例: Yes, I would like some changes. Some of our lecturers were quite impolite, and I hope they can be replaced. Additionally, we lacked enough computers and library resources, so I believe providing more of these would greatly help students study better.

建議: Your answer is clear and relevant but could be improved by correcting minor errors and using more formal vocabulary. For example, 'APHD' should be 'a PhD,' and avoid repeating 'at the moment.' Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

範例: Currently, I wish to pursue a PhD in cybersecurity or computer engineering because the world is increasingly focusing on artificial intelligence. Gaining skills in these technologies will significantly enhance my future career opportunities.

× When I started I had this phobia meeting new students, but now I'm quite very much used to it.

✓ When I started I had this phobia of meeting new students, but now I'm quite used to it.

The phrase 'phobia meeting new students' is incorrect because 'phobia' requires the preposition 'of' before the gerund form. Also, 'quite very much' is redundant; 'quite used to it' is sufficient.

× but now I'm quite very much used to it.

✓ but now I'm quite used to it.

The phrase 'quite very much' is redundant and awkward. Using 'quite' alone is enough to express the degree of being used to something.

× I remember my first days teaching high school students, I was pretty shy, but now I'm doing great.

✓ I remember my first days teaching high school students; I was pretty shy, but now I'm doing great.

The original sentence is a comma splice, joining two independent clauses with a comma. It should be corrected by using a semicolon or separating into two sentences.

× I have a masters degree also in Business management.

✓ I have a master's degree also in Business Management.

The word 'masters' should be possessive 'master's' when referring to the degree. Also, 'Business Management' should be capitalized as a proper noun.

× I enjoyed my students life.

✓ I enjoyed my student life.

The phrase 'students life' is incorrect; it should be 'student life' to refer to the life of a student.

× I also had beautiful interactions with my colleagues and my classmates and it has helped me thus far and today I have beautiful connections with people around.

✓ I also had beautiful interactions with my colleagues and my classmates, and it has helped me thus far; today I have beautiful connections with people around me.

The phrase 'people around' is incomplete; it should be 'people around me' to specify the people nearby. Also, the sentence is long and can be improved with punctuation.

× Some of our lecturers were very, very much impolite.

✓ Some of our lecturers were very impolite.

The phrase 'very, very much impolite' is awkward and redundant. 'Very impolite' is sufficient.

× I wish those lectures can be changed.

✓ I wish those lecturers could be changed.

The word 'lectures' refers to talks or presentations, but the intended meaning is 'lecturers' (teachers). Also, 'can' should be 'could' in this subjunctive wish.

× And in those days we didn't have enough computers to enhance our studying.

✓ And in those days, we didn't have enough computers to support our studying.

While 'enhance' is not incorrect, 'support' is a better collocation with 'studying' in this context. Also, a comma after 'days' improves readability.

× I'll be very happy if today students can have enough computers and especially libraries to to help them study and make the best of the moments they have.

✓ I'll be very happy if today's students can have enough computers and especially libraries to help them study and make the best of the time they have.

'Today students' should be 'today's students' to indicate current students. Also, 'moments' is better replaced with 'time' in this context. The repeated 'to' is a typo.

× At the moment, I really wish I could pursue APHD in cybersecurity or computer engineering because at the moment we can see the world is gearing towards AI, artificial intelligence right now.

✓ At the moment, I really wish I could pursue a PhD in cybersecurity or computer engineering because we can see the world is gearing towards AI, artificial intelligence, right now.

'APHD' is incorrect; it should be 'a PhD'. Also, 'at the moment' is repeated unnecessarily. Adding commas improves clarity.