学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is generally clear but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, "how Japanese value have been made" should be "how Japanese values have been formed". Also, avoid redundancy by making your sentences concise and natural. Try to use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

範例: I'm currently a sociology student at Massage University because I'm interested in how Japanese values have been formed in society.

建議: Your answer has some grammatical mistakes and unclear expressions. For example, "crowded place like cafes in my house" is confusing. Also, avoid repetition like "I can focus and it's quite it's quiet". Try to use linking words to make your answer coherent and provide specific reasons.

範例: I usually study at home because I find it difficult to concentrate in crowded places like cafes. At home, it's quiet and free from distractions, so I can focus better.

建議: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. The phrase "there are many libraries and cafes you can focus" is incomplete and confusing. Try to directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details using linking words.

範例: Yes, I think it's a good place to study because it's quiet. Moreover, there are many libraries and cafes nearby where I can concentrate well.

建議: Your answer is relevant but has some grammatical errors and lacks linking words. For example, "more computer" should be "more computers" and "each classrooms" should be "each classroom". Use linking words like "for example" and "also" to connect your ideas smoothly.

範例: Yes, I would like my university to make some changes. For example, we need more comfortable chairs in each classroom. Also, better Wi-Fi and more computers would be great.

建議: Your answer is clear but can be improved by correcting grammar and using linking words. For example, "a master degree" should be "a master's degree". Also, "Speaking of Graduate School" is a bit unnatural here; instead, use "In addition" or "Furthermore". Provide a smooth connection between ideas.

範例: I plan to get a master's degree in my field because I dream of becoming a researcher. In addition, I want to study abroad in countries like Canada or New Zealand.

× I am interested in how Japanese value have been made in my society.

✓ I am interested in how Japanese values have been made in my society.

The noun 'value' should be plural 'values' because it refers to multiple cultural values in society. In English, countable nouns need to be plural when referring to more than one item.

× I feel awkward if I'm in crowded place like cafes in my house.

✓ I feel awkward if I'm in a crowded place like cafes outside my house.

The phrase 'in crowded place' is missing the article 'a' before 'crowded place'. Also, 'cafes in my house' is incorrect because cafes are not inside a house; 'cafes outside my house' or 'cafes near my house' is more appropriate.

× I can focus and it's quite it's quiet without any distractions.

✓ I can focus because it's quite quiet without any distractions.

The original sentence has a repeated phrase 'it's quite it's quiet' which is incorrect. The sentence should be restructured to connect the ideas properly using 'because' to explain why the student can focus.

× Yes, I think it's a good place to study because it's quiet and there are many libraries and cafes you can focus.

✓ Yes, I think it's a good place to study because it's quiet and there are many libraries and cafes where you can focus.

The sentence is missing the relative pronoun 'where' to connect 'libraries and cafes' with 'you can focus'. Without 'where', the sentence is incomplete and unclear.

× Plus better Wi-Fi and more computer would be great.

✓ Plus better Wi-Fi and more computers would be great.

The noun 'computer' should be plural 'computers' because 'more' indicates quantity greater than one. In English, countable nouns must be plural when referring to multiple items.

× I plan to get a master degree in my field because I have a dream to be a researcher.

✓ I plan to get a master's degree in my field because I have a dream to be a researcher.

The correct term is 'master's degree' with an apostrophe 's' to indicate possession. 'Master degree' is incorrect in English.